In psychology, experts actively use the term self-esteem. It influences a person's thoughts and actions. There is a misconception that high self-esteem is the path to success, prosperity and happiness. To understand the intricacies of this concept, it is necessary not only to define it, but also to study the causes of its appearance, diagnostic methods, and correction options.
Increased self-esteem
The importance of self-esteem in a person's life
Self-esteem determines the level of success in all areas. Every decision or action depends on the size of your ego. If it is underestimated, a person is afraid to try something new. It's hard to unlock potential.
A person suffering from narcissism is willing to take on a difficult task. He firmly believes that he will accomplish it. If the “narcissist” fails to complete a task, he blames his colleagues/grading level/unfair conditions.
Are you ready to stop thinking about your problem and finally move on to real actions that will help you get rid of your problems once and for all? Then perhaps you will be interested in this article .
Features of self-esteem affect the following areas of your life:
- relationship with a guy or girl;
- achievements at work;
- financial sector;
- sexual contact;
- relationships with relatives, colleagues, friends.
Others treat you the same way you treat yourself. If, in your opinion, a man married you out of pity, over time he will be visited by the same thoughts. Girls with high egos think they did a favor by getting married. The guy will either succumb to this mood, becoming henpecked, or break off the relationship.
The ability to position yourself is the secret to success at work. But don't overdo it. Inflated self-esteem will alienate colleagues.
People with an adequate assessment of their own body do not have problems in their intimate life. They are relaxed, not focused on themselves, but feel their partner.
How to become a confident woman
How do you imagine a confident woman? She is attractive, has beautiful hair, has perfect posture and an hourglass figure. Such women force you to follow them with your gaze. How to become the same?
Above we wrote about points that will help increase self-esteem, but we practically did not touch upon appearance. But it plays a huge role in matters of self-confidence. Yes, accepting yourself for who you are is normal and important, but what if it concerns your health?
Our posture greatly influences how other people perceive us. People with beautiful, straight backs always enjoy great success. But how to correct your posture?
This is where a roller comes to the rescue. Watch a video on how to lie on it correctly:
There is also a great exercise for the back with a foam roll:
Levels of Inflated Self-Esteem
In psychology, there are two classifications of self-esteem.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
Division depending on type:
- relevant – depends on achievements;
- partial – based on the results achieved in specific types of work;
- potential - depends on innate talents.
There are three options for assessing yourself:
- adequate;
- understated;
- overpriced.
Self-assessment tests will help determine your level. Psychologists use the Budassi technique. Four columns with a set of qualities are presented. Each part of the test reflects one area of life: communication, behavior, activity and emotions. The subject circles the qualities that are important to him. Look through them again and put a tick next to those that are typical for him.
The psychologist counts the number of real and ideal character traits. Based on this criterion, the level of self-esteem is determined:
- low;
- below the average;
- average;m
- above average;
- high;
- inappropriately high.
The syndrome of inflated self-esteem corresponds to the indicator “inadequately high.”
Above average
People who rate themselves above average adequately correlate their talents and abilities. They strive to accomplish realistic goals.
There is self-criticism. Such a person does not have conflicts and prefers to resolve issues in a reasoned manner.
High
A person with high pride is critical of himself. Such people have a particularly developed sense of self-esteem. They respect themselves for their merits and achievements.
People with above average self-esteem are more likely to notice their own shortcomings than those with high self-esteem.
Inappropriately high
People with inappropriately inflated pride idealize their own image. He does not notice character flaws and overestimates abilities. Sets inadequate goals and does not pay attention to failures or the path to achieving them.
Self-criticism is not typical. The comments of others are perceived as nagging. There is a conflict mindset.
Inflated pride is a step into the abyss of illusions.
Main manifestations
The fact that an individual is inclined to underestimate his own merits can be judged by various “symptoms”. Main manifestations:
- An individual allows others to manage his life, give advice, interfere in personal affairs, and manage the process.
- Doesn't hear intuition, doesn't trust his own sensations and feelings.
- He often finds himself in a situation where he is used for personal gain.
- Hides feelings, cannot open up to others.
- Tries to please everyone and in everything, does not know how to say “no”.
- Doesn't know how to achieve goals or implement plans.
- He does something he doesn’t like for the sake of someone’s praise.
- Subject to excessive self-criticism.
- Represses his own needs to please others.
- I'm worried about outside opinions.
- Treats others in a disrespectful manner.
- Cannot break off a “failing” relationship.
READ Negative character traits and ways to correct them
Once a person learns to put himself and his needs first, he will gain self-esteem and respect from others, and changes for the better will occur.
Constant soul-searching
Fear of condemnation guides the behavior and life of an individual. Everything is done to look perfect and no one gets to the bottom of it
It is important for an individual what others say and even think. Self-examination does not give rest, since a person every day looks for mistakes and shortcomings in her own actions, blames herself for stupidity
World in shades of gray
Rejection of oneself and unfair treatment of oneself by others leads to the formation of hostility and aggressiveness. A person sees the shortcomings of the world without noticing the bright colors and positive aspects. With such a worldview, it is difficult to find happiness and build a personal life.
Shopaholism
The desire to look perfect leads to the fact that a person buys things without realizing his actions, buys clothes that he never wears. Shopaholism is an opportunity to express yourself and look perfect.
Promiscuous intimate relationships
With a low self-image, a person has an affair with the first person he meets. Such people get married at a young age because they are afraid that they will be left alone. They cannot break ties in which there has been no love and happiness for a long time. Failures in your personal life further reduce self-esteem.
Obsessive states
A person is tormented by fear, panic, anxiety. The nervous system is directly affected by self-perception. Such people are characterized by problems with sleep, a nervous state, irritability, and suspicion.
Lies in everyday life
They lie to present themselves in the best light, to avoid excessive attention to their own person and responsibility for their actions. Lying out of nowhere sometimes reaches the point of absurdity. People around them understand that they are being lied to.
Communication with bad people
An insecure girl always has a confident friend who will stand up for her. Guys to look cooler. Such people tend to enhance their own “I” at the expense of others.
Causes
Self-esteem is a component of character. Partially it is laid before birth, transmitted with genes from the mother and father. The other part is developed during life under the influence of upbringing and environment.
The reasons for low self-esteem are similar: improper upbringing, reproaches from teachers, appearance that does not meet recognized standards of beauty.
Upbringing
Self-esteem changes during adolescence, and the foundations are formed in early childhood, thanks to the adequate attitude of adults towards the child.
Teenagers with inflated egos grow up in overprotective families. If relatives always emphasize the uniqueness of the child, they cultivate narcissism in him.
Focus on both achievements and mistakes. This way the child will learn to realistically assess his potential and will avoid such mistakes in the future.
Unreasonable positive attitude of teachers and teachers
Teachers tend to find favorites. This will not necessarily be the smartest student. Appearance, sweet smile, manner of conversation - a teacher who does not know a student well is captivated by these qualities.
The student considers himself chosen. In the future, narcissism is expressed more strongly and goes beyond the walls of the educational institution.
Lack of self-testing
Having adequate self-esteem throughout life can lead to becoming a “narcissist” at an older age. This happens when a person suddenly fulfills his own dreams.
He easily enters and graduates from university and finds a prestigious job without any problems. There is confidence in your uniqueness and outstanding abilities. It inflates your ego. And when failure occurs, it is perceived as a personal insult and injustice.
Appearance
People with model appearance tend to consider themselves superior to others. This is especially evident among women. A woman's self-esteem is largely determined by her appearance.
More than 9,000 people have gotten rid of their psychological problems using this technique.
It is easier for such ladies to get a job and find a partner. Not testing your abilities further increases your self-esteem.
Financial security
When a person does not need anything and gets everything he needs without difficulty thanks to finances, self-esteem goes through the roof. The more money, the easier it is to achieve your goal, the stronger your pride.
Having a rare natural talent
A rare talent increases the distance between a person and others. Such an individual considers himself different from others. If at first this is visible only in the sphere of activity of a narcissistic person, over time, inflated self-esteem determines all actions and decisions.
Portrait of a man with high self-esteem
A person with too much self-esteem can be easily distinguished from the crowd. It is distinguished by the following characteristics:
- overconfidence that does not correlate with the complexity of the situation;
- inadequate attitude to criticism addressed to oneself;
- conflict;
- perfectionism;
- speech with an abundance of pronouns “I”;
- blaming others for one's own failures.
People with inflated pride are proud and arrogant. They will not accept help from others.
Manifestations are always a straight back and a forward chin. “Daffodils” can spend hours in front of the mirror admiring themselves. They love to be photographed and know how to pose for photos.
What is
Inflated self-esteem is an individual’s incorrect understanding of his own strengths, capabilities and abilities, as well as his importance in society. Such people behave arrogantly, they are arrogant, they build relationships with other members of society only if there is personal gain. Such a person cannot evaluate himself sensibly, which is why he often finds himself in unpleasant situations.
If a person with high self-esteem is not recognized in society as a leader and does not see his importance, he develops depression.
There are two types of inflated self-esteem:
- adequate - more often observed in adults, as a result of real achievements in various areas of life;
- inadequate - more common in adolescents and children who have not achieved anything. It is the result of dissatisfaction with one’s personality, the desire to attribute the merits of others. It is worth considering that high self-esteem in children is often formed under the influence of parents and grandparents.
Advantages and disadvantages
Overestimating oneself means that a person believes in his own abilities. Such people are not afraid to try new things. But blind faith leads to an inadequate perception of the objective world. That is why it is impossible to say for sure whether high self-esteem is good or bad.
Self-perception must be adequate. If you compare high and low pride, you should choose the first option.
Self-love is not as deserving of condemnation as lack of self-respect. (William Shakespeare)
Low self-esteem makes a person uncommunicative, withdrawn, and cowardly. Inflated makes him go forward.
Signs of low self-esteem
Low self-perception has very specific symptoms:
- constant self-criticism;
- dissatisfaction with oneself;
- excessive sensitivity to the opinions and criticism of other people;
- feeling of anxiety, fear of making the wrong decision;
- envy of other people's successes;
- justifying one's own actions;
- pessimism and negative attitude towards the world around us.
If you feel that problems and failures are your constant companions in life, if it seems to you that the decisions you are making are wrong, delve into the study of the topic - how to believe in yourself and increase self-esteem. Otherwise, emotional disorders and depression are possible.
How to make your self-esteem adequate - tips
High self-esteem brings a lot of trouble to a person. The sooner you identify this character flaw and begin to correct it, the greater the likelihood of getting rid of the problem yourself.
Awareness of the problem
A person will not be able to properly assess his own strengths if he does not realize the lack. To do this, after any action taken, try to look at yourself from the outside.
If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .
Psychologists give the following recommendation: put yourself in the shoes of your interlocutor and think about how you look in his eyes. You may not be as brilliant as you thought you were.
Respect other people and their opinions
Teach to appreciate not only your own, but also other people’s virtues. This is absolutely normal. You can't be the best at everything.
A man’s high self-esteem is characterized by this feature. They are more susceptible to the spirit of competition than women. Stopping in time and giving in to another is an important aspect of adequate male self-esteem.
Listen to healthy criticism
Taking offense at criticism from outsiders is the wrong tactic for a person who has decided to stabilize his own self-esteem. You need to listen to the words of others. Find motivation in their reproaches to correct your own mistakes.
Be self-critical
Learn to look at your own actions with an open mind. Dryly evaluate decisions made and words spoken. It's the same with appearance. Accept shortcomings, but don't blame them.
Remember that you have strengths. Cons are evidence that you are human and cannot be perfect.
If you fail, analyze your actions
In case of failure, carefully analyze what led to it. Evaluate the entire journey. Adequate self-assessment of your activities will help you work on yourself and achieve new results.
Compare yourself to the most successful people
A surefire way to lower your self-esteem is to realize that there are people more successful than you.
If you are a good IT specialist, take a look at the achievements of Bill Gates. A medical professional may want to consider the work of Henry Marsh, a renowned neurosurgeon who has written several best-selling books.
Accept that you are not the most successful in your own field. You have room for improvement.
Stop competing
The desire to be the best, to show oneself in front of colleagues and the boss is one of the reasons for high self-esteem.
Stop paying attention to other people's activities. Focus on your own achievements and aspirations.
Don't impose your opinion
Adequate self-esteem of a person is characterized by the ability to communicate with people. Listen to the opinions of others and do not impose your own. If, in your opinion, the other person is wrong, give him advice, but do not tell him what to do.
Why is it developing?
Often started in childhood
Let's look at what the causes of high self-esteem are.
- An inferiority complex can cause a child to develop a defense mechanism that makes him think that he is the most important and significant.
- The result of psychological trauma in childhood, the presence of any complexes.
- The consequences of overbearing parental care, the satisfaction of all the wishes of the baby.
- Inflated self-esteem can be observed in people who stand out from society in some way, for example, if there is only one woman working in a male team.
- The result of star fever.
- Consequences of excessive demands on the child. The kid strives to prove to his parents that he really is the best, that he can do anything.
- An example of parents with high self-esteem.
- Attractive external data influences the formation of the opinion that a person is better than other representatives of his sex.
- Undeserved praise from parents and teachers can also lead to feelings of superiority.
How to communicate with someone with high self-esteem
In everyday conversations with a narcissist, you don't need to use any special strategies. If you have an adequate assessment of yourself, the behavior of your interlocutor will not anger you, but will even amuse you.
When you need to get results from a conversation, use one of the following strategies:
- If your interlocutor is a junior employee, knock down his self-confidence. Do it calmly and reasoned. Using a specific example, explain the oversight in his behavior.
- When talking to a colleague at the same level, support his point of view while voicing your own. For example: “Yes, you can do it, but look at my point of view... Together we will achieve great success.”
- When talking to a narcissistic relative, don't be afraid to talk about personal feelings. Openly say what bothers him about his behavior.
Adequate self-esteem is an aspect of normal life in society. If you notice that you react harshly to criticism towards yourself, and perceive comments as an insult, try to cope with this feeling. Listen to the advice of others, soberly evaluate your own actions - this is how you will overcome high self-esteem.
If you don’t want to give up and are ready to really, and not in words, fight for your full and happy life, you may be interested in this article .
How to increase self-esteem and attract success
Stable adequate self-esteem is important for achieving success. Imagine: two people come for an interview at a company. They are asked to solve a problem. One demonstrates his confidence that he knows how to deal with it. His facial expressions, gaze, body language simply scream confidence. The other person also knows how to solve the problem, but he stands quietly, calmly, slightly hunched over.
Who do you think will be offered the job?
Uncertainty is like a signal to others. If a person is not confident in himself and his skills, then there are probably reasons for this? After all, who knows him better than himself? Why should we choose it?
This opinion is quite controversial, but some people really think so. Therefore, the first step towards success in any field is gaining self-confidence. We wrote about the methods a little higher.
