Composure - what is it and how to develop it

More and more people, especially teenagers, are interested in how to become insensitive. Emotions are good. But not always. Life is unpredictable, there are ups and downs. And it is precisely the latter that can seriously injure some particularly emotional, kind, sympathetic and vulnerable people. If this happens regularly, you have to somehow abstract yourself from the situation. And the question that comes to many people’s minds is how to become cold and insensitive. Just to no longer feel pain, not to feel the sorrow of failure. This is not the best solution, but in some situations it is the only way to escape. There are several tips that will definitely help you bring this idea to life.

How can a girl become a cold and insensitive bitch?

In addition to the fact that the lifestyle of an insensitive person means that it is almost impossible to offend him, spiritual coldness has additional advantages:

A person who practically does not react even to the most serious shocks is usually respected and considered very strong.
The image of an insensitive man attracts girls, because they think that he can solve any problem “without raising an eyebrow.” Girls say about such young people: “Behind him is like behind a stone wall,” because with him action always comes first without wasting time on emotions.
It is much easier for such people to move up the career ladder, because no emotions interfere with working on themselves and self-improvement.

Usually girls want to acquire the status of a bitch because they were previously burned in a relationship.

Pain that could have been avoided if they had not been so kind and tender-hearted may not go away for years.

To do this, you should adhere to the following settings:

Personal interests and plans should be higher than what a man offers, even if you really want to meet him.
Self-care is a daily ritual that cannot be ruined by any external circumstances. It is worth creating your own style, including hair styling, beautiful makeup and perfectly selected clothes. Under no circumstances should you run to the grocery store or go to bed without removing your makeup. These simple actions will help you feel self-love that does not depend on external circumstances.
Take time for self-development. Read fiction or professional literature daily. This will help you learn to speak beautifully and interestingly.
Stop worrying about a man's feelings or his wallet. If you still feel awkward when you refuse to meet someone on the street, break someone's heart, or are treated to a cup of coffee, it's time to realize that this is the correct alignment of things, because you deserve it simply by the fact of your existence.
Set your conditions at the beginning of relationships with men. Meet only at a time convenient for you, maintain a mystery during dating, do not agree to sex simply out of a feeling of “it seems like it’s time.”

We suggest you familiarize yourself with How to become a beautiful and well-groomed girl with a minimum of money. In fact, being a cold-blooded bitch means, first of all, living the way you want, even if it makes the lives of those around you less comfortable.

And every woman deserves this, you just have to really want it and work on your attitude towards yourself.

Insensitivity and coldness guarantee stability in achieving your life goals, but require release, which will prevent the negative impact of pent-up emotions on the body.

Extreme sports, martial arts, and other ways to release energy in a neutral way can help with this.

How to keep your cool

In our difficult life, sometimes it is simply necessary to remain calm. However, everything is not as simple as it seems. It is difficult to remain calm in some situations, but it is necessary. Because anger and impatience wear out our hearts, our souls and our families. The feeling of calm is simply wonderful.

Moreover, in this state we manage to do much more than we planned, communicate better and live a more productive and rich life.

When solving your problems and learning techniques on how to remain calm and cool, the main thing is not to forget why you need it. After all, you maintain your composure for a reason, but for the sake of your peace of mind and the peace of your loved ones. Never take out your anger and irritation on people who love you and are defenseless in front of you. Your family and your children should not suffer from your lack of self-control.

Be calm like a Buddhist monk, and life will thank you for your efforts.

Definition

Composure is a concept that has both positive and negative meanings.

As a personality trait, it is characteristic of people who are able to make informed, adequate decisions in situations of stress. The latter refers to the body’s tension (from the English stress – tension), its nonspecific reaction to external unfavorable factors.
In a negative context, cold-bloodedness is seen as the ability to commit cruel acts against other people or animals without showing any emotion.

To better understand, let’s look at both concepts with examples and select synonyms for each.

Landing on the Neva

The year was 1963. A Tu-124 plane with passengers on board took off from Tallinn airport. Even on takeoff, an emergency occurred - the landing gear jammed. The crew commander, Viktor Mostovoy, requested an emergency landing, but the fog that thickened over the city did not allow it to be made. He was offered to sit in Pulkovo, on a spare dirt runway (Leningrad).

While emergency services were rushing to the intended landing site, the plane was circling at an altitude of 400 meters, running out of fuel. When nothing foreshadowed trouble, another unusual situation awaited the crew - the fuel meter turned out to be faulty.

When the plane approached the eighth circle, the fuel supply ran out and the left engine stalled, and a couple of minutes later the second one, although the meters showed the presence of fuel.

Finding himself at a distance of 21 km from the airport, the 30-year-old commander of the airliner, maintaining his composure, made the only right decision - to land on the Neva without endangering the city.

Having chosen the area between the Finlyandsky and Bolsheokhtinsky bridges, he delicately landed the plane ten meters from one of them. Having made an emergency landing on the river, he saved the lives of passengers and crew. The man's composure was amazing.

However, eyewitnesses say: Mostovoy was the last to leave the liner, and everyone was amazed - in a few minutes he became completely gray.

How to change your character: the first steps towards a new “I”

So, there are two main indicators of composure: the presence of a stressful situation and the ability to maintain clarity of thinking, which made it possible not to succumb to panic, but to make the only correct decision in the current situation. We list the synonyms of this concept:

self-control;
calm;
presence of mind;
self-control;
excerpt.

Composure here is seen as a personality quality, a character trait that the crew commander possessed.

Mirroring

Are you often bullied? Or maybe you are simply succumbing to eternal emotional tyranny? Gain strength and courage. and mirror the behavior. Don't be afraid to touch the nerves of your offenders. However, like all other people.

What does it mean? Treat your offenders the same way they treat you. It doesn’t matter who it is - a relative or just a friend/acquaintance. Take people who hurt you as an example. They are usually just perfect role models. After all, the ability to touch a nerve is a good skill for a cruel person.

What to do with those who communicate with you with kindness and friendliness? Mirroring will not help here - it is a charge of unnecessary positive emotions. Therefore, just follow the example of your offenders: try to distance yourself from such individuals, constantly tell them something offensive and unpleasant. Over time, this will become a habit for you.

Return to suffering

The first rule that can help is to return to your suffering. Every person has some memories that bring pain or great resentment. These are the ones you will have to turn to in your subconscious every time you are overcome with positive emotions.

It usually becomes very painful to experience negative moments at first. But at one point this feeling disappears. And you stop caring. Once you achieve this, it will be easier to solve the problem.

Try to remember all the negative events at once, en masse. Only then can you fully answer how to become insensitive. Yes, it may seem impossible, but with continued practice, you will notice clear changes in your behavior.

How to develop self-control?

Many people think that the ability to remain calm is a gift that is not given by nature to everyone. In reality, it is quite possible to develop it independently and even achieve very significant success in this. Let's look at several effective techniques that can help with this.

Find your problem areas

First, analyze your life and remember situations in which you failed to remain calm when necessary. This will allow you to identify the most problematic areas - this is where you should start working on yourself.

Perhaps you cannot resist the temptation to buy a delicious cake or a bottle of beer, or you are unable to refuse an online game that takes an inordinate amount of time. Remember also the last conflict with a loved one - did you manage to restrain your emotions well and not say too much?

Work on your emotions

Separately, you need to think about the emotions and experiences that you find it difficult to control. Perhaps some situation at work that you observe every day causes you resentment and resentment. Think about it carefully and try to understand why it has such a strong impact on you.

To better understand how to develop self-control, write down in a notebook all the emotions that you find difficult to control, and think about each of them in the same way. Think about how to get rid of uncontrollable experiences. Having sorted them all out, it will be much easier to deal with them.

3. Remind yourself that you are the only one in control of your life.

This is a very important point. Most people tend to shift the blame for their mistakes to external circumstances. When something bad happens, they get upset and begin to feel sorry for themselves, believing that life is unfair to them.

If a person knows that all the circumstances of his life are the result of his own decisions and actions, it is much easier for him to control himself in difficult situations. Even if trouble has occurred, he knows that right now everything depends only on him and his actions. And this helps him maintain his composure.

To strengthen your sense of responsibility for your life, you can mentally repeat specially selected affirmations. To do this, you can use the following phrases:

“I am the master of my life”;
“My whole life depends only on me”;
“I am in complete control of myself and my emotions”;
“My ability to self-control is growing every day”;
“Feeling in control of my life gives me pleasure.”

Using these simple guidelines, you can significantly speed up your progress in developing self-control.

4. Play out successful scenarios in your head.

Sometimes it is useful to imagine a typical situation in which you previously showed weakness and could not remain calm. Imagine different variations of those events and think about how it would be correct to react in each case. Think carefully about your impulsive reaction and explain to yourself why it was not constructive. This is a fairly effective exercise, as it will help you quickly find your bearings and maintain composure the next time you find yourself in a similar situation.

Who is this nonsense?

An indifference is a person who treats everything with indifference, indifference and disregard. A person who doesn't care looks down on the world, preferring not to bother, not to take too much into his head, not to envy and not to judge. But we have always been told that indifference is a negative word, and an indifference is an extremely negative person. But is this really so? Who is a don't care in the broader sense of the word?

A person who doesn't care is a person who follows his dreams, doesn't waste energy on meaningless things and enjoys life. He is radically different from hardworking and controlling people. But yesterday's excellent students and workaholics never became happy, and their successes are extremely modest. The guy who doesn't care chose a different strategy in life, but the most interesting thing is that he succeeded.

Surely you know such people. A former excellent student, and now a workaholic who spends days at work, is always busy and runs all the time. Everything about him is mediocre, and I don’t even want to envy his life. But you know a former poor student who succeeded despite his indifferent behavior. Those who don't give a damn often succeed, despite the initial illogicality of their lifestyle.

A person who doesn’t care has his own life, his own opinion and his own ways. He does not rush and does not try to break through stone doors with his forehead, but finds a loophole and takes a roundabout route. But even if troubles happen, the person who doesn’t care shrugs his shoulders and moves on. This won't break him.

Those who don't give a damn are more like surfers who catch their own wave rather than try to fight against the current. Nowadays the expression “healthy indifference” has become popular, which is spread by adherents of an easier life. How to become a don’t care in life and be free?

Ilya Shishikhin, Unsplash

Workout

During a good workout, sooner or later the weakling inside you wakes up.

He says: “Time to rest, that’s enough for today, my whole body hurts, baby.”

And you ask yourself one question.

What will I get?

What will I get if I stop training now without sweating my last drop?

And you know the answer: you won't get anything.

You won't get the body you want if you give up.

You'll just get the same flabby piece of pork you want to get rid of.

You will gain strength. You'll gain muscle. You will gain self-respect.

Sounds cool, right?

When you want to give up, ask yourself: “What will I get if I give up?”

I guarantee you will have a second wind and a fresh charge of energy.

Why is indifference dangerous?

Lack of emotional response to what is happening and ignoring other people's troubles can lead to social isolation.

Indifference often becomes a stumbling block for loved ones as part of a lack of understanding of the difficulties of one person by another.

Indifference at the same time gives a person an imaginary feeling of abstraction from these problems and allows him to enjoy only pleasant things.

This quality can be regarded as a manifestation of emotional rudeness. This sounds especially harsh towards women.

It is assumed that the female sex has a great capacity for empathy and compassion, however, in conditions of an indifferent attitude, such a girl can be perceived as dry and insensitive.

In addition, indifference does not allow you to enjoy life in all its colors.

By getting involved in some process to which a person becomes partial, he acquires new life experience and knowledge, and also exchanges it with other individuals. Indifference makes the process of accumulating such information impossible.

This condition also leads to a decline in moral standards in society. The lack of reaction to shocking events makes them closer to the norm, and over time even transforms them into the category of habitual.

For example, the lack of response to the prevalence of gadgets among schoolchildren encourages further use of phones and tablets instead of face-to-face communication.

The process of indifference has a particularly negative impact on the upbringing of children.

Indifference encourages others to take harsh and atypical actions, which can cause conflict.

For example, in a company of friends, people are indifferent to the manifestation of cruelty of one of them towards animals.

In the future, this can lead to the formation of sadistic tendencies in a person and even to their implementation.

Cultivating selfishness

From childhood we were taught that selfishness is a very bad quality. Children are taught to share their toys or even give them to semi-familiar playmates in the sandbox, because “you need to share” and “are you greedy?”

The same goes for delicious food that I wanted to eat myself, and not give more than half to my parents or brothers/sisters. This is how individuals grow up who are always ready to sacrifice their interests in order for society to consider them good.

Unfortunately, this approach does not allow you to fully enjoy life, because playing in public takes a lot of energy.

Reference! Many begin to feel ashamed of their reluctance to help relatives and mentally torture themselves. If you recognize yourself in these lines, stop this violence right now!

Selfishness is a completely healthy concern for oneself and one’s interests, which should be accepted as an axiom. From now on, answer a firm “No” to any request for help that you don’t want to satisfy!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kcCfRUfY1Zg

If the person asking is not part of your family, don’t even explain the reason for the refusal. It will be difficult at first and you will feel anxious about what people think about you. But over time, only the feeling of freedom and happiness will come from the fact that now every minute of life belongs to you personally!

Spend the time that will be freed up only on yourself:

engage in self-development,
take yourself to new cafes and feed yourself delicious food,
buy quality care products,
Don’t skimp on self-education.

After some time, you will understand that by helping everyone around you, you were trying to earn the approval that you can give to yourself.

Full control

Here is the golden rule that you should always remember. If you want to understand how to become emotionless, you need to take control of all your emotions. How exactly to do this? There is no exact algorithm here. Just a few tips.

First, choose a profession that forces you to suppress your emotions. For example, a doctor. There they will be able to teach you some things that will help bring our today's idea to life.

Various psychological courses and trainings are also a good way to control emotions. They are called “Emotions under control.” True, they teach more to restrain negativity. But similar principles can be interpreted for positive feelings.

In the end, try to keep everything good inside yourself and suppress it. Think: “Everything is bad.” And repeat this to yourself constantly. Even if everything is just great. Sooner or later you will notice how you have learned to control your emotions. In this case, all that remains is to always maintain a stony, emotionless face when communicating.

This is all. Just before you become cruel and insensitive, think carefully about whether you really need it. It will be more difficult to regain your emotions. Pain is always easier to endure than to drown out.

The desire to become an insensitive person is not uncommon among both young people and older generations.

The main reason is the reluctance to experience pain from betrayal and insults, which can cause mental trauma and negatively affect self-esteem.

In fact, the path to a minimum amount of emotions is not easy, but in this article we will look at ways in which this can be achieved.

Let's say no to help

A very interesting fact - refusing to help someone instantly makes you a cruel, bad person. Even if you really are simply unable to help or refuse for some specific, justified reasons. This means that in order to figure out how to become an insensitive creature, you just need to not help people. That is, in general. Absolutely. Even in small things. Remember: helping is very unprofitable. Especially close people. They often demand things from you that will cause you harm. In addition, practical help awakens positive emotions. And this is of no use to you. After all, the main task facing you is to completely get rid of emotions.

Please note that you must always refuse. And even if help is vital. Initially this will not be easy. But over time you will get used to it. By the way, very often such a step makes life much easier. You will not do anything to the detriment of yourself.

Rejoice

No matter how many techniques you learn to be cool, the deciding factor will be your... Most often, you immediately forget about all the techniques as soon as a real problem arises. Enjoy the opportunity to change everything. Now is your chance to practice. You can spend several years studying Zen, but when faced with adversity, you lose your temper.

As soon as you have the opportunity, be cool and indifferent, at least outwardly, and then be sure to praise yourself and give yourself a gift for doing the right thing. This is how, bit by bit, you can become a new person.

Definition

Indifference is the absence of reaction, purpose, desire to act.

This state of mind is characterized by pronounced apathy and inertia.

Indifference is synonymous with indifference, melancholy and apathy and characterizes the degree of mental activity, which in this case is minimal. An indifferent person can be in this state in relation to some specific objects or phenomena or to a group of them.

Selective indifference is effectively used as a way of protecting against negative emotions or influences. Widespread indifference is a more formidable symptom of possible mental disorders.

This condition can manifest itself in different areas of human life. The emotional reaction is sharply reduced. Losing interest in something means indifference to it.

For example, to a hobby or type of professional activity. At the same time, the person does not experience any emotions about the previously interested object. This is the most important distinguishing feature of this condition.

Indifference is also characterized as being indifferent to people and being cool about their problems or dire situations.

Remaining indifferent to the sight of others suffering means indifference in the soul or an attempt to distance yourself from what is happening.

True indifference penetrates deeply into consciousness; a person does not worry about this under any circumstances.

This condition is often a person’s own and conscious choice in favor of saving nerves, strength, and time. Indifference helps the individual to use available resources economically.

Advice from Daniel Levitin

The American psychologist promotes the practice of preventive work, when it is analyzed in advance what could go wrong and what unpleasant surprises may occur in a given situation. Surely, Viktor Mostovoy’s actions had been practiced many times before in simulators, when options for possible engine failure were considered. Composure is the ability to curb emotions and give way to reason, mobilizing the body, but not the appearance of a ready-made solution out of nowhere.

Therefore, in a calm environment, it is advisable to think in advance about certain actions in the event of, for example, preventing the loss of valuables, documents, emergency leaving the apartment, etc. To do this, you should identify special places for storing keys, a phone, documents, a wallet. Photos or copies of documents should be placed on electronic media in order to quickly restore them in case of loss.

Conflicts with other men

In conflicts with men, you must remain calm to the last.

When temperatures heat up, there are two possible outcomes.

Either you will fight or you won't.

If a fight is inevitable, you must strike first (c) Vladimir Putin.

But to strike first, you must not give yourself away before the strike.

This requires composure. You don't show your intentions until your blow lands on the target.

Naturally, it is better to resolve the conflict with words.

If the conflict can be resolved with words, then your composure will play into your hands.

You'll think, “What am I going to get?” - and you will behave calmly, defusing the situation. This will help resolve the conflict faster.

How to maintain composure?

To maintain composure, you need several factors that contribute to this:

Be rested. It is difficult for a person to maintain composure if he is tired, irritated or worried.
Be healthy. Often, diseases physically deplete the body, which is why a person also becomes psychologically weak.
Be able to let go of negativity. Negative emotions arise in a situation that forces a person to maintain self-control. If you cannot respond to the offender in such a way as to achieve the goal and throw out the negativity, then you need to find other ways to relieve negative emotions when the situation no longer exists.

To maintain self-control, a person needs to begin to focus on the situation that is happening to him, and not on the emotions that arise in him. Self-control is lost when a person concentrates on his own outrage

He then begins to behave in such a way that the interlocutor understands that he should not be communicated or treated that way. However, this tactic leads to the fact that the interlocutor also begins to stand his ground: “Don’t tell me how to communicate!”

Self-control is concentration on the problem. We push emotions aside, let them rage, and you concentrate on the motives of your opponent’s behavior, your goal that you want to achieve, the desires of both parties, ways to get out of the situation in such a way as to help yourself and not offend your opponent.

In other words, ask yourself in a stressful situation the question: “Why do I need this?”:

Why do you need to worry?
Why do you need to argue with a person?
What will your actions, whatever you decide to do, lead to?
Why would you waste time and energy arguing? Etc.

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Unlucky day

Sometimes the reason some people get angry is simply a bad day. For example, a person overslept, so he is a little late for work, then spilled a cup of coffee on his new suit, got stuck in an elevator, etc. Can this day be called a good day? Perhaps the second half of the day will be the happiest in recent times, but the “victim” does not know this yet. So it turns out that he begins to “take his anger out” on everyone who comes to his hand. Of course, not all people do this, but only those who cannot control themselves. But we must admit that each of us has moments when our nerves simply give out (especially if the troubles drag on for a long time). Therefore, you should treat rude people condescendingly, since at this stage they have problems, not you.

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Who is an indifferent person?

How to understand indifferent and what does not indifferent mean? Indifferent means not interested. That is, significant signs or situations have lost relevance for a given individual for some reason.

All actions regarding this object or phenomenon are no longer considered by the person as worthy of attention. This allows the indifferent to feel a certain degree of freedom. This is the positive aspect of indifference.

This concept also includes inaction in relation to something. This may be a lack of response to an insult (indifference to the offender or the situation in general), or a decrease in attention to the problem or issue.

An indifferent person is unlikely to help in a difficult situation, because he does not consider this important in human relationships.

This method of avoiding responsibility can be effective when dealing with people who are trying to shift the care of themselves onto the shoulders of others.

Indifference manifests itself in the form of insensitivity to people's problems.

This allows the individual to avoid these problems and the difficulties associated with them.

Often, expressed indifference extends to other aspects of a person’s activity: his motor skills, range of interests and people.

The movements of indifferent people gradually become slow and unhurried, and the circle of interests and communication gradually narrows.

Not indifferent means exactly the opposite. Such a person is active in relation to the subject that interests him and actively manifests himself in relation to it. He is concerned about the state of an object or situation, as well as measures to influence them.

A caring person is characterized by a certain set of emotional or affective characteristics. Such an individual reacts vividly with facial expressions and gestures to everything that happens to the object of interest, even if he tries to hide this interest. Thus, indifference can be ostentatious and obvious.

The ostentatious option is used as a deceptive maneuver. Then actions or deeds that speak more than appearance or words can convince of caring.

A caring person is usually attentive to others and their problems, and shows concern for them despite personal inconveniences.

Example in life

An insensitive individual can live in abundance without noticing disadvantaged people. He will easily ignore someone else’s misfortune and will have no problem finding an excuse for himself, considering it none of his business.

Outwardly, a person endowed with insensitivity gives the impression of a balanced person. This allows him to easily endear himself to others and produce a person with peace in his soul. However, an insensitive person will immediately reveal himself when sympathy, lively participation, and compassion are needed, but this person will not show this in a critical situation. For this reason, a person’s insensitivity will cause rejection, misunderstanding, and irritation among others, since society values sympathetic and attentive people. Therefore, loneliness is often the companion of an insensitive person. Insensitivity is dangerous because it leads to isolation, heart fossilization, and isolation.

An insensitive person is not interested in what is happening around him or his attitude towards him as something boring, ordinary, gray. He is not familiar with the feeling of compassion, participation, pity. There are no compromises in his life. Such a person has a tough character. At one time, he realized that life is much easier for indifferent people. Such individuals are not bothered by situations that cause ordinary people to suffer and worry. Other people's troubles do not bother them because they have a low sensory threshold. Pursuing only their goals, they move through life literally “over their heads.” Indifference and selfishness protects them from stressful moments and worries.

Don't share

The next time you are faced with a challenge that makes you feel strong emotions, try to first breathe out and approach it rationally. Do not rush to retell it to your loved one or loved ones. Don't call your friends. The interlocutor will only inflame you, you will be more nervous and worried.

You need to instill in yourself the rule - solve the problem where it arises, and not talk about it. Give yourself some time to cool down and then see what you can do to resolve the situation. Of course, you can turn to your loved ones for help or advice, but do not shift the decision making to them.

If you forbid yourself from discussing the incident, what will you do in this case?

Sources

https://motivation-life.ru/psy/826-samoobladaniye.html
https://psiholog4you.ru/kak-stat-spokoynyim-i-hladnokrovnyim/
https://ezy-life.ru/lichnost/stat-hladnokrovnym-i-ravnodushnym.html

How to stay calm and cool

“I've always been called cool. I am a bomb disposal specialist. I was always completely calm, independent and professional before, during and after each operation. But now I can only say one thing: I have lost all my composure.”

How to keep a cool head in a crowd of hot heads?

Tip 1: You need to respond, not just react

Tip 4: Think cool

“It will be a disaster!”
“This is the best person in the world!”
“I'm just a loser!”
"I'm going crazy!"
“I’ll make a complete idiot of myself!”

Now let’s practice thinking a little differently, catching ourselves in such an “extreme”:

“Some things may not go as expected, but everything else may be just fine.”
“I love this person, but the world is not perfect.”
“I'm worried now, but I'm not going crazy!”
“It may not be easy for a while.”
“Let them think what they want. Everyone has their own thoughts in their heads.”
“This is a dangerous explosive device, but I am a world-class expert and very well prepared!”

Tip 5: Don't always be cold-blooded

Lack of attention

The second rule is not to pay attention to anything. Neither for people, nor for any events. Forget about holidays, about relatives, about friends. Sometimes it is enough to fail to congratulate someone on their birthday once for you to be considered cold-blooded.

Yes, it will be difficult at the very beginning. Especially when your favorite holiday comes or some bright, joyful, emotional event occurs. But you should not just ignore it, but meet it with complete indifference. Until you learn this, you will not become an insensitive person. After all, such people usually rarely show their emotions. Most often, their faces show complete indifference to everything.

Self-control

Everything described above can be understood by every person interested in the question “Self-control – what is it?” But some people have this quality, while others do not.

This is because it manifests itself at moments of emotional peak tension, which are accompanied by complex chemical processes in the body, as well as a kind of “response” of the brain and endocrine system to stress. Take, for example, an ordinary family quarrel. For some, it develops into a real scandal with breaking dishes, slapping and swearing. For others, everything is resolved in a few minutes with a calm conversation. It's just that some people are more balanced and less impressionable. Therefore, they are able to cope with stressful situations without any special shocks to the nervous system.

What does emotional competence consist of?

EQ is built on four components:

Self-awareness . The main "ingredient". High self-awareness allows a person to recognize his strengths and weaknesses, weak and strong traits, his own needs, goals, and motives.
Self-control . It stems from self-awareness. A person who has studied himself learns to manage his emotions. Although they are initially driven by biological mechanisms, it is quite possible to learn to take control of them. The ability of self-regulation allows you to free yourself from the “fetters of feelings.” People capable of self-control can always pull themselves together and not succumb to despondency or excessive euphoria.
Empathy . This ability is already aimed at communication. It means the ability to understand the feelings of others, manage relationships, having knowledge of the emotions of another person.
Relationship skills . This can also be called communication skills. Some people confuse this trait with friendliness. In part, this is correct, but we are talking about friendliness, which pursues a specific goal. It is associated with establishing mutually beneficial relationships.

Understand the history of the formation of political thought

To learn to understand politics, you need to have an idea of the history of the formation of political thought. At the initial stage, political phenomena formed spontaneously. People united into tribes, after which the population increased and the tribes grew into nationalities, after which nations appeared. All these difficult processes were influenced by many factors, including the geographical location of this or that nascent state. Egypt was ruled by despotic pharaohs, Scandinavia was ruled by cruel Vikings, and Hindustan was dominated by the crude Indian caste system. Every nation created an impeccable system of law and order, a state structure to which the entire population was subordinate, and no one could object to the freedom of the ruler.

Literature

It is impossible to describe all the techniques that will help in one article. Fortunately, there are a lot of excellent books on this topic that have become bestsellers. I would like to recommend some of them to you.

In Osho's book Meditations for Busy People. You will find a whole scattering of techniques that will help you get rid of stress at the most critical moment. You will understand where experiences come from, you will be able to establish control of the mind over the body, you will learn how to meditate while eating, sex, and penetrate into silence when there are screams around and the situation is out of control. You will learn to turn to the voice of your heart and mind when others think it is impossible.

If you prefer a psychological approach to problems, then I recommend reading “Resilience to Stress” by Sharon Melnick

In it, much attention is paid to rules and strategies, harmony and, most importantly, calm: how; the 50% rule or what to do with what you have no control over; what is reasonable detachment and how to address it; concentrate in 3 minutes, and where the “on” and “off” buttons for your emotions are located

That’s basically all, don’t forget to subscribe to the newsletter so as not to get confused in the world of psychology and always receive relevant and useful advice that works every day. See you again and good luck.

People with cold hearts are those who cannot be reached emotionally. They are not affectionate and do not exude warmth. In this article, we will give you some tips on how to recognize a person with a cold heart.

“...I call people with a cold heart people who are withdrawn, depressed and far from deep feelings and experiences. From those who are abstracted even from themselves, you should not expect reciprocity - they will not be able to give you what they are not able to experience on their own,” says psychologist and author Leon F. Seltzer.

An outlet for anger

Constantly “hiding” grievances within oneself can produce the most destructive effect on the body. Therefore, choose a different tactic - try to discharge yourself. Anything that helps relieve stress and relax is suitable for this: go to the gym, sauna, take a contrast shower. You can even break dishes or beat a pillow.

Expert opinion.

After analyzing Goleman's work, psychology experts determined that the effectiveness of management activities depends 85% on EQ and only 15% on IQ. By developing emotional competence, a leader can view his own emotionality and his subordinates as a resource that can be used to increase productivity.

It is necessary to understand that EQ is not literally related to the emotionality that everyone is accustomed to. When defining it, the phrase “emotional intelligence” is inseparable. For example, an overly temperamental person may have a low EQ, while calm and outwardly unemotional people tend to have a high EQ.

When assessing emotional intelligence, the following are taken into account:

the ability to immerse oneself in one’s own emotions, feel them, live them;
the ability to rationally analyze one’s feelings and make decisions based on logic.

A person with developed EQ is able to maintain a balance between feelings and logic. In a critical situation, they do not give in to anger, despair, despondency, irritability, but know how to pull themselves together and make a decision or produce a result.

According to Salovey and Mayer, intelligence and emotions cannot be opposed, as many are accustomed to doing, they are closely intertwined, and a person’s success not only in business, but also in the interpersonal sphere depends on their correct interaction.

The Art of Self-Control

Self-control refers to the art of tact, tolerance, and patience. The art of self-control is marked by the ability to act rationally rather than emotionally. Self-control allows you to rule not only over yourself, but also over other individuals. This feeling helps in making the right decisions, especially in extreme situations. Self-control makes it possible to see this world through the prism of calm, as well as self-confidence. In everyday life, self-control is manifested in the ability to suppress desires and strong inclinations, the ability to control emotional impulses and show determination, as well as control behavior when fear arises.

Self-control is manifested in the following forms: patience (endure difficulties and inconvenience), abstinence (self-denial - refusal of harmful and reasonable use of useful), equanimity, tranquility (state of balance, peace and tranquility), self-discipline, perseverance (maintaining devotion and fidelity at the time of trials and temptations).