Psychological techniques for manipulating mental consciousness

Manipulation, conspiracies... This popular topic appears on every website or device screen.
Someone intimidates, someone warns, while an ordinary person wants the world to be simple and calm. We decided to look into this topic and describe as simply as possible 10 mechanisms with which you can control the consciousness of the masses. And the professor of linguistics at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, the famous political publicist, Noam Chomsky, will help us with this.

What is manipulation from the point of view of psychologists

Manipulation is used by people who need to dominate other people. Sometimes their ability to influence the psyche occurs unnoticed by them. Such a person always gets what he wants and thinks that those around him voluntarily submit to his will. But in fact this is the result of strong external influence. For those who do not have natural skills, it is necessary to study in detail the types of people susceptible to influence.

People's personality types and manipulative characteristics:

Traditional - an individual striving for comfort and security. Guided by common sense, has no special needs. It should be influenced through the satisfaction of needs. Vulnerable is a dreamy, emotional personality type. It is difficult for him to cope with stress, so he is easily suggestible. Vulnerable people should be influenced through emotions. Rational - guided by analytics and facts. They need to be manipulated through logical arguments, influencing a sense of moral superiority

Such people easily recognize manipulation, so you need to work with them carefully. Primitive - for this type only lower needs are important. To instill the desired idea, it is enough to offer them the satisfaction of natural needs: food, sleep, sexual desire. Pathological - suffering from mental illness

Using the characteristics of the disease, you can instill in him any information: an individual with a disease is not able to adequately perceive reality and will do everything that is required of him.

To use each technique, preliminary preparation will be required. A good manipulator must constantly hone his leadership skills in order to be able to suppress people with a strong will and high self-esteem.

Areas of application of the techniques

The effectiveness of this kind of psychological techniques began to be used in all kinds of branches of science. The following main areas are identified:

1. Sales. Most of them are based on similar methods (from drawing up a plan to the actual implementation).
2. Negotiation. The psychological part is an essential component of what is happening. It is important to operate with accurate and compelling information, to capture the client’s behavior in order to manipulate him.
3. Communication. Manipulation is one of the main elements in building invisible control.
4. Public speaking. Voice production, appropriate gestures, laconic phrases with a strong message, controlled ease and spontaneity are achieved by certain methods.
5. Interpersonal relationships. If you know the laws of NLP, it will be easier to understand them and find common ground.
6. Marketing. It is based on NPL.
7. Cinema. Actors often use Ericksonian hypnosis.
8. Recruitment. Using metaprogrammatic personas (basic filters for how someone is perceived) is an effective method for recruiting employees.
9. Modeling. This process underlies the manipulation technique.
10. Self-development. Targeting yourself, finding motivation to achieve heights in any area of ​​life.

Available methods of manipulation: how to manage people

At first, using complex manipulation methods will not work: the interlocutor can easily figure out the deception. You need to train in simple ways:

1. Using the particle “not” in questions and requests. Perception is designed in such a way that the “not” particle is skipped in a conversation. A negative statement becomes positive without the individual noticing it. By asking a question with the particle “not”, the manipulator gives a double message, forcing the object to make the necessary decision.
2. The illusion of choice. By offering two options, the manipulator forces the individual to make a choice, even if he was not initially inclined to do so. The need to make a choice unsettles him, he feels insecure and can act rashly - exactly as the manipulator requires.
3. Creating intrigue. Curiosity pushes people to agree to dubious offers. Girls are prone to curiosity, so advertising campaigns aimed at them are based on introducing them to mystery. To influence a man, you need to focus on benefits.

For the effect to work as intended, the manipulation effect must be constantly updated. Therefore, having received the first result, you should maintain it.

Correction of memory impairments

In many cases, human memory impairments and disorders can be corrected and treated with medication if treated in a timely manner. Methods of correction depend on the type of memory impairment; in case of particularly severe ones, one should not hope for a cure, only for the relief of concomitant symptoms. The main treatment regimen is based on the following therapy:

• relief of an acute condition (for psychosis, trauma);
• vitamin therapy;
• psychotropic drugs (tranquilizers Elenium, diazepam);
• restoration of cerebral circulation (Nootropil, Vinpocetine, Piracetam, Gingko Biloba).

In addition to treatment, the following are prescribed:

• balanced diet;
• herbal medicine (sage, ginger, infusion of motherwort or valerian officinalis);
• Cognitive development of memory helps keep it in good shape until old age (new hobbies, solving crosswords, learning foreign languages).

Origins of manipulation

The child is dependent on his parents and often suffers from their neglect of his needs. Some children stop demanding what they want, but there are also those who learn to play on the weaknesses of adults. For example, parents, coming home from work, do not pay enough attention to the child - dad watches TV, mom cooks dinner.

If this happens every evening, then the child begins to think about ways to return participation to his life. Suddenly he gets sick. Mom and dad are now always nearby, caring for and talking to the child. That is, the child is the center of attention. And he decides to use this method further. Another example of child control is throwing tantrums in crowded places. The child knows that mom or dad won’t be able to stand it and will end up buying the toy. Thus, the ability to manipulate people begins in childhood.

Repetition.

A very common type of manipulation. There is even a saying or something: call someone a pig many times, and he will grunt. I don't remember verbatim.

Tell me about TV?

OK. To be sure, we’ll touch on that too.

We turn on the TV, and there is advertising. Something like: “If you buy vodka in Colorado, you will immediately grow up rich.” And so on day after day. And then you will choose a bottle in the store - and it will pop up in your head, as if it had been like this all your life, that you should drink this particular vodka - you can get drunk and become rich. Funny, but true.

And repetition is a wonderful way to introduce stereotypes into the masses: “how stupid Americans are” (c). Yeah. Certainly. A country that has been making money on the whole world for the 4th century is definitely a country of idiots. It’s possible and that means we don’t have to strain ourselves. Brains - that is, friends?

This is a bit of a harsh example, but there are a lot of similar ones that can be cited, and there are even harsher ones.

Here’s another one for good measure: “Study at school so you can go to university. Then to the university to get a job. And you will work happily all your life." In the average family, raising a child this way from childhood is the norm. And, in general, because of this norm, families are called average. Then the child is afraid to step aside from this path. Or rather, not even that. He then doesn’t see other paths, and even if he does, he almost doesn’t recognize them.

By the way, this method is often called zombification.

A simple request

One of the most effective ways to get something from a person is to start with a simple request. Having completed an easy task, the opponent will feel his importance, thereby being ready for new assignments. Then, when the first easy level is completed, if necessary, ask for something more significant and complex. Thus, with gradual steps you can make a smooth transition from easy tasks to complex ones.

When it comes to the question of how to manage people, experts recommend choosing the right time and the opponent’s mood, and also not moving from one request to another: it is important to take a long break and not impose too many tasks. Studying this method, marketing research showed that those people who agreed to take part in the promotion were subsequently more willing to purchase a particular product

Pessimistic

Even if at heart you are prone to pessimism, anxiety and experiencing failures, do not impose negative emotions on others. People avoid complete negativity for fear of falling into a depressed state themselves. At the meeting, you will have to listen to further details of the illness, unsuccessful personal life, and simply a bad weather forecast. Keep a positive attitude, be cheerful, energetic and cheerful, then people will definitely be drawn to you. Don't go overboard to look natural.

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How to find out about the psychological impact

There are different ways to communicate. Manipulation is one of them. But how can an ignorant person understand that they are being deceived into feelings or are trying to push him to a certain action? There are special keys that the manipulator uses to obtain the result. Here are some of them.

Emotions. If the addressee felt that the opponent was “pressuring” feelings (for example, pity, empathy, shame, vindictiveness), then the process of consciousness control is underway.

Incomprehensible words. Professional terms and “smart” words appear in speech. They are a red herring intended to disguise a lie.

Repeat phrase. The addressee hears the repetition of the same statement in speech. In this way, the manipulator tries to “zombify”, to instill the necessary thought.

Urgency. It creates a certain level of nervousness. The addressee does not have time to comprehend what has been said, and he is already called to action

His attention is distracted, and in the bustle he begins to carry out what his opponent is trying to achieve.

Fragmentation of meaning. During the discussion, the addressee is not given all the information

It is split into pieces in such a way that a person is unable to grasp the entire news, but draws false conclusions based on a fragmentary phrase.

Imposing stereotypes. The manipulator deliberately refers to known truths, emphasizing the commonality of the addressee with them. This imposition of stereotypical thinking or actions leads to their implementation by the object of influence.

Manipulation in communication is necessary in cases where a person does not have the strength or confidence to achieve his desire. He is afraid to openly express his claims and would prefer to achieve his goal through hidden influence.

Characteristics of the term

Methods of psychological defense are tactics of an individual’s response to any stimulus. They are created unconsciously as a reaction to an obvious or invisible threat. This is a way of self-defense of the psyche from crushing stimuli.

Each personality has its own methods of psychological defense, differing in degree of expression - from weak to intense. These processes protect the psyche from fears, stress, anxiety, negative, and often destructive thoughts.

The term “psychological defense mechanisms” was first expressed by the founder of psychoanalysis, S. Freud, in 1894. In accordance with the psychoanalyst’s assumption, a person responds to a threat or danger in two ways. After their awareness, the individual restrains them in consciousness or transforms them, protecting the psyche from self-destruction.

Psychological defense is an unconscious process. It is activated accidentally, often without the individual realizing the meaning of thoughts and actions, and leads to a complete denial or transformation of reality. The person ceases to perceive the event as dangerous or threatening. Often, protecting the psyche from a crushing impact, he unconsciously uses several defensive tactics at the same time.

Sometimes psychological defense mechanisms, in addition to reducing the effects of stress on the human mind, also cause harm to it. This is facilitated by the constant shifting of obligations and responsibilities onto others, denial of the truth, and deviation from reality. If the situation does not stabilize and problems continue to be ignored, it is impossible to move to a higher level of development.

Ways to manipulate people

There are a great many ways of manipulation. As a rule, the manipulator resorts to different ones, but he has several that he uses often. Knowing them, it is easier to resist negative influences and learn to avoid situations where they are possible.

Some methods of manipulation

people:

1. Lie
   . The most common way to get a person to change their opinion or behavior. People lie very often, but manipulative lies are a special type of deception. Such lies are systematic, carefully thought out, have significant consequences and, as a rule, entail more lies.

There are people for whom lying is a way of life and the only way to solve problems, or rather, a way to avoid them. By lying, you can protect yourself from anger, resentment, guilt and their consequences, and also earn respect, recognition, and love.

A lie can be so subtle and “stupefying” that it is almost impossible to notice it. For example, a manipulative liar can use the “False Questioning” technique: he asks a clarifying question, the first part of which is a repetition of what the interlocutor said, and the second part is adding “on his own”; or a simpler option: when asked again, the interlocutor’s question is simply very subtly, but significantly modified. The purpose of this technique is to confuse the interlocutor and reduce his vigilance.

1. Care.
   A person surrounded by care becomes soft, compliant, less categorical, uncritical and inattentive. Caring can lull the vigilance of your interlocutor and win him over.
2. A pity.
   The manipulator demonstrates his imaginary inferiority, weakness, fatigue, pain, etc. The goal is to achieve pity and a condescending attitude towards oneself, to demonstrate the position “I am not dangerous.”
3. Vows and promises
   . Hearing an oath, a person is inclined to believe his interlocutor more, because this is a signal that the speaker himself does not doubt at all what he is saying. The content of promises coincides with the desires, needs, dreams of those people to whom they are given, therefore the illusion of understanding and zeal of the “benefactor” is created.
4. " Zombification"
   . If you repeat the same phrase to a person all the time, hypnotizing him with it, he begins to believe that it is true. If the suggested information also “catches” emotionally, and is not just a fact, it will not be difficult to suggest it.
5. Love
   . Phrases like: “Well, I love you, so you should...”, “If you love me, then...”, “Do this for me...” and other ways to “cover up” with love, have an impact on the emotional sphere of the individual, drowning out arguments of reason. Manipulation of friendship, sympathy and other positive feelings also works.
6. Temptation.
   If you offer a person something that you are sure to like, you can lure him anywhere and force him to do anything. For example, parents tell their child: “When you’ve done your homework, you’ll go and play.”
7. Bribe.
   This is the same temptation only in reverse: a person is not promised something so that he becomes easily controlled, but is immediately given what is desired, and then they deal with the fact of bribery.
8. Threats and blackmail
   . The threat is always made according to the formula “If you don’t do..., then I will do...”. For example: “If you don’t help me, I will be offended by you.” Blackmail is built according to a more complex scheme: “I did... and now, if you don’t do..., I will also do....” An example of manipulation: 1) threat: “If you don’t stop smoking, I’ll tell your mom about it,” 2) blackmail: “I took a picture of you when you smoked. If you don’t give up, I’ll show the photo to my mom.”
9. Condemnation.
   Many people are afraid of being ridiculed, misunderstood and not accepted in society. Intimidation, criticism, scolding and everything else that is done in front of strangers and provokes shame and guilt, makes a person afraid of repeating this event, so he does everything that the manipulator asks, just so as not to be humiliated again.

Manipulation is not the best way to influence another person. You need to understand that this is an act for which you will have to bear responsibility.

Love.

Let's return to the conversation about women at the end of the first part of our conversation.

There are three main schemes (for two people):

a) one loves, one doesn’t love.

b) both love.

c) both don’t like.

The first one is simply mega-popular and effective. Manipulators are usually those whom they love. Moreover, manipulating those who love them literally becomes a drug. And the one who loves understands that he is being manipulated, but cannot do anything.

The second one is banal. “Do you love me?” Then…". There is nothing supernatural.

The third, according to the manipulator's plan, should be reduced to the first. That is, task number 1 is to make a person fall in love with you, and then act according to the first scheme. “Girls from clubs are looking for stupid rich boys” - I think you know what I mean.

Alternatively, you can “fly” with the third scheme and fall in love yourself. Or you can “get there” so that you both fall in love. Here you can’t guess who benefits, although in theory it’s for both.

Video manipulation of people

Manipulation

– this is a kind of subtle art. Not every person is given the ability to control other people, but a manipulator can do this masterfully. There are people with some talent for manipulation, but you don't have to have it to become a manipulator. How to manipulate people?

Not everyone will be able to hone the art of manipulation to perfection, but every person has unconsciously and consciously resorted to manipulation more than once in his life.

Psychological manipulation

- This is a type of socio-psychological impact. The purpose of manipulation is to change the perception or behavior of a person(s) through lies, deception, violence or other inhumane tactics.

The problem with manipulation is that manipulation is almost always unethical.

. The manipulator pursues selfish goals, and uses dishonest and inhumane methods as a means to achieve them.

If manipulation is unethical, then why study this phenomenon? At a minimum, to be able to resist the manipulator!

However, there is also such manipulation that could be called altruistic

when one person controls another against his will, but for his benefit. For example, when someone fights a loved one's bad habit through intimidation and threats.

In addition, frankly speaking, our society is structured in such a way that it is difficult for an honest, unselfish, overly kind and open person to survive in it. Such people are sometimes called “good” only because they are easy to manipulate. Everyone likes reliable people or those who are “led” to persuasion, give in to pity, and so on. In some situations, honest people should use methods and techniques of manipulation for their own good, as self-defense, to repel the manipulator and in order to survive in the “concrete jungle”.

Features of manipulation

Definition 3

Manipulation is one of the types of psychological influence that aims to change the direction of the activity of other people. Manipulations are often carried out so skillfully that they can go unnoticed.

Manipulation is also represented by the use of power when those who have it influence the behavior of others without explaining to them what is expected of them. Manipulation of consciousness is a kind of domination over the spiritual state of a person, control through the imposition of ideas, attitudes, motives, behavioral stereotypes that are beneficial for the subject of influence.

There are three levels of manipulation: strengthening of ideas, attitudes, motives, values, norms that exist in the minds of people needed by the manipulator; private, small changes in views on a particular event, process, fact; a radical change in life attitudes through a message to the object.

Manipulation can be carried out by dosing information, when only a certain portion of information is reported, and the rest is carefully hidden. In this situation, the picture of reality is distorted in one direction or another (or it becomes completely incomprehensible). Manipulation can be represented by mixing true facts with all kinds of assumptions and rumors. It is often impossible to distinguish fact from fiction here.

Some manipulations consist of delaying time (everything comes down to delaying, under various pretexts, the publication of really important information until it is too late to change something). Manipulations in the form of a retaliatory strike are fictional versions of certain events through dummies who disseminate them in the media

Manipulation as a timely lie is the communication of completely false, but extremely expected information that is expected at a given time. In this situation, the more the message content is able to respond to the target's mood, the more effective its outcome will be. Subsequently, the deception may be exposed, but over time the severity of the situation will subside or the process will become irreversible.

Manipulation of human consciousness is most often used for selfish purposes. This also occurs in the process of political and election campaigns (the use of “dirty technologies” in order to win or gain power by any means).

Basic Reframing Techniques

“Redescription” methods explain how a person can be manipulated only by replacing words, part of the message. Let's take a closer look at them.

1. A technique for replacing one piece of verbal information with a new sentence or word. For example, instead of saying “I'm afraid,” say “I'm afraid.” Fear will no longer be as pronounced, and the individual will accept it as an indication to be more attentive and careful.
2. Rearranging intentions, or rather, truly revealing them. What does it mean to manipulate a person using this method? According to the basics of neurolinguistic programming, the purpose of all behavior is positive. And once you discover your true intention, you can choose more acceptable actions. For example, a wife is often dissatisfied with her husband and allows herself to raise her voice at him. When the husband tries to find out the reasons for this behavior, she cries or leaves. Working with his wife, a psychologist helps to discover the real purpose of hysterical actions - lack of attention, support, love. After pronouncing the intention, the spouse can dress up his behavior, for example, in a soft, gentle form and thereby try to achieve the desired again.
3. How to manipulate a person using metaphor? It is a parable or a short story in which there is a comparison with the situation under consideration. You can use an example from a famous fairy tale or cartoon.
4. Another effective technique in “redescription” is to use the criterion that the addressee formulated in the new statement. A case in point is the story of the sinfulness of women. When Jesus responded to the offer to throw stones at her, he replied: “He who is without sin among you, let him be the first to throw a stone at me.”
5. Encouragement to look at yourself from the outside. Otherwise, change the recipient’s perception position. How to manipulate a person in this way? When the addressee condemns a certain situation, you can ask the question: “What if you found yourself in such circumstances?”
6. A technique of influence due to the inability of the brain to distinguish between fiction and reality. Asking questions like “How do you know...?” or “Why did you decide that...?”, the manipulator achieves the goal of the technique - the “correctness” of perceiving the situation is considered.

As can be seen from the description of the techniques, reframing relies on linguistic techniques that make it possible to consider circumstances in a new way. What does it mean to manipulate a person using this method? This is the disclosure of different ways to achieve your true intentions, as well as the ability to look at actions from the outside.

The emergence of NLP

American psychologist Richard Bandler in the late 70s. last century, in collaboration with colleagues, he created NLP - a new branch of psychological assistance. It is based on the correction of the human psyche, for the ability to control the emotional state, for acquiring skills to overcome stress and programming negative thinking into positive ones.

Initially, Bandler, being bedridden, unknowingly, was cured by hypnosis. The doctor focused not on his illness, but on the behavior of loved ones. He, noticing hidden meanings in the behavior of family or friends, wrote down these notes.

This helped him more accurately recognize the intricacies of human consciousness and escape from his own problems. Later he began to devote himself to teaching hypnosis. It’s just that contemplation behind a moving pendulum or hours of monotonous suggestions fell outside the circle of his interests. After years of careful research, the doctor was already able to put people into a trance using ordinary stories.

Secrets of successful manipulation

The art of manipulating human consciousness is so widespread that we don’t even think that we are becoming its victims. And to become more receptive (and also to improve your skills yourself), you need to know a few secrets of manipulation. We can name four such secrets:

1. Simple, kind and merciful people, capable of altruism and self-sacrifice, are most often susceptible to manipulation. These traits are undoubtedly good, but they make a person more vulnerable.
2. Manipulators successfully exploit subconscious human fears, such as the fear of abandonment or being alone. By pressing on these points, it becomes very easy to control the actions and even thoughts of others.
3. Manipulators take into account that most people are wary of negative emotions and avoid conflicts. A banal increase in voice or change in tone can be controlled by a person without resorting to the above methods.
4. Manipulation is most successful when used against people who do not know how to say “No”, i.e. refuse. Knowing that such a person is in front of him, the manipulator can be 80% sure that the victim will do what he says.

You must always remain vigilant in communication - this is the first step to countering manipulation

It is equally important to know your personal characteristics and develop awareness - this also helps to strengthen your “immunity” against those who want to use you for their own purposes

If you want to understand the topic in depth, we have three offers for you.

First, read our blog articles:

• Techniques of manipulation in discussion;
• 9 manipulations during negotiations;
• How to recognize emotional manipulation;
• Manipulative techniques of toxic people;
• How to communicate with manipulators.

Second, read anything (or all) from this list of books:

• Henrik Fexeus “The Art of Manipulation. Think the way I want";
• Henrik Fexeus “The Art of Manipulation. Don't let yourself be deceived";
• Vadim Shlakhter, Sergei Kholnov “The Art of Dominance”;
• Everett Shostrom "The Manipulative Man";
• George Simon "Who's in Sheep's Clothing? How to recognize a manipulator";
• Nicolas Gueguen “Psychology of manipulation and submission”;
• Dale Carnegie, How to Win Friends and Influence People;
• Victor Sheinov “The Art of Managing People”;
• Vladimir Adamchik “200 ways of successful manipulation”;
• Robert Levin "Mechanisms of manipulation - protection from other people's influence."

And thirdly, watch this interesting video about the tricks of manipulating people. Use your skills only for good and do not succumb to other people’s manipulations. We wish you success!

Get into his interests

In many couples, the interests of the man and woman coincide - and this is wonderful. Shared hobbies are like super-strong glue for a relationship with your husband.

But what if this did not happen?

• Take an interest in his affairs
  - even if through force. Watch football while stifling a yawn. Asking what exactly was fixed in the car at the service station, ceasing to understand anything after the third word. Listen to the advantages of one spinning rod compared to the other three.
• Unobtrusively invite you into the world of your interests
  . Few men would agree to attend a macramé class, but if you think about it, there's probably something your manly partner can handle with dignity.
• Look for compromises
  : go to the movies, either for an action movie or for a melodrama; to a pizzeria, and next time to a sushi bar; to a strip club - and then to a salsa master class.

Many have heard the phrase “People are divided into those who ride and those who ride.” What kind of personality is this that recognizes the weaknesses of another subject and can play on them to their advantage? What does it mean to manipulate a person?

A pity.

He took pity on the dog and made it his faithful dog. Losers love to be pitied. Straight out orgasm.

Having pity on the loser, you can twist ropes out of him.

In reality, you need to be careful when they try to feel sorry for you. I'm not calling to treat everyone with suspicion, but still.

We sent a couple of examples.

We feel sorry for the employee from the previous point about pride: “what have you done? Well, it’s okay, it doesn’t happen to anyone, poor fellow,” where we gain even more trust, and then after a while we divorce according to the old scheme.

Another short example: A girl feels sorry for a man.

Is it worth continuing?

The main thing you need to remember is PITY FOR THE PATHETIC, and simply do not allow yourself to be pitied. This is the way of a man, nothing can be done. Girls can be allowed, but only in such a way that they control it.

PS When girls ask to be pitied, they are not necessarily manipulating you. They may really lack your attention. But you shouldn’t regret the real mistakes. This is where manipulation comes in.

Methods and techniques for resisting manipulation

Even a skilled manipulator can be resisted. To do this, the victim needs a conscious attitude towards communication.

Analysis of the situation

Before choosing a form of resistance, you need to analyze your communication with the alleged manipulator. To do this you need:

Identify manipulation techniques. The victim must understand what method of control the interlocutor is using

To do this, you should pay attention to the most frequently repeated words and phrases in speech, facial expressions and gestures. Determine the motives of the interlocutor. This is not always possible

However, if a salesperson in a store talks for a long time about the advantages of a product, his goal is easy to determine - to sell, to increase revenue.

Manipulation must be distinguished from psychological games. The difference between them is that when playing a psychological game, the winner does not receive any practical benefit. He gets only moral satisfaction. An example of such a game: each participant in the dispute tries to convince the other of the correctness of his religious views. To win a dispute, you need to provide not only a large number of facts confirming your case. You need to have a good understanding of your opponent’s religious views in order to point out their weaknesses.

Resistance

Resistance to manipulation can be active or passive. Active is suitable for people with strong energy, self-confidence, and independent views. You can openly resist if the manipulator is lower on the social ladder (a subordinate, a salesperson in a store). Passive resistance is recommended for people with weak energy and health, as well as when the deceiver is higher in social status than his victim (boss).

Passive resistance

Passive resistance is characterized by:

1. Slowness. The victim's reactions and speech are slow.
2. Ignoring. The victim pretends that he did not understand the meaning of what was said, forcing him to repeat the same information several times. Ignoring can be reduced to a complete lack of reaction. For example, if the victim remains silent throughout the conversation, the dialogue turns into a monologue. The manipulator talks to himself, which stops his attempts at further influence.
3. Agreement. Open resistance increases the pressure of the manipulator, and the victim’s consent makes him relax.
4. Repeating remarks spoken by the manipulator. The intonation needs to be changed to interrogative.

Most of these techniques are aimed at causing irritation or bewilderment of the deceiver, causing him to lose control of the situation.

To protect himself from foul play, the victim should focus his attention not on the liar's speech, but on his face. Lies are given out:

• redness of the skin;
• shifting eyes, the expression of which does not coincide with what the liar is saying;
• muscle tension;
• rapid breathing.

Active resistance

To stop manipulation you need:

1. Open discussion about the inadmissibility of deception. The deceiver's consent does not mean that he has accepted the rules of the game.
2. Revealing the essence of the trick. The manipulator is told in what way he is trying to influence the victim. This technique is not always recommended. When the victim knows about the method being used, she will control the liar. The manipulator will be confident that the lie went unnoticed and will not change tactics.
3. A repeated reminder of the inadmissibility of deception. If the manipulator is caught off guard when using a new technique, there is a chance that he will stop the dishonest game. The deceiver may be intimidated by the erudition of the victim.
4. Reciprocal reception. A kind of competition begins between the interlocutors. However, most often the winner is the one who was able to give up the dishonest game in time.

Subconscious defenses

Protection against manipulation in communication is rarely conscious. The victim feels his position subconsciously and can take an action that even to himself seems irrational. The most common ways to get rid of a manipulator include leaving and ignoring. The victim uses the second method if he cannot leave.

Methods of manipulation

How exactly are people managed? There are many ways to manipulate

All of them are based on the same principle of cunning: touching on the target - a topic that is important for another, otherwise there will be no response from the controlled

The most common methods of manipulation are:

• Ostensible indifference. One person treats the opinion of another somewhat dismissively, and that person begins to doubt whether he is right.
• Quoting the interlocutor. A frequent technique during which the words previously spoken by the manipulated are slightly distorted by the manipulator and take on a different meaning.
• Imaginary weakness. Usually girls resort to this method, flaunting their helplessness in an attempt to get help.
• Pseudo-love and pseudo-friendship. Declaring love or acting out friendship (imaginary) helps to achieve a completely different level of relationship, greater indulgence.
• Fast pace of communication. The manipulator talks actively and a lot. An excess of information arises; a person does not have time to carefully monitor everything, missing the influence of the manipulator.
• Imaginary fatigue. Sometimes you don’t want to disturb a tired loved one, you have to rather agree with his opinion. Manipulators take advantage of this.

Fatigue Manipulation

Attention to detail. By isolating one detail from a large-scale event, taking it out of its original context, you can present information to your interlocutor in a distorted way. Irony, mockery

If you ironically communicate with a person, allow him to mock his words a little, you can force him to have an emotional outburst. At this time, the state of consciousness changes, people become more susceptible to outside influence. False benefit. The manipulator may express the opinion that his opponent benefits more from a particular situation. To do this, he usually diminishes his share. This is usually followed by the interlocutor’s desire to equalize the benefits. Hastily changing the topic of conversation. Jumping from topic to topic can be discouraging and cause confusion, which gives the manipulator the opportunity to influence the opponent. Anger, aggression. By acting out a strong angry outburst, you can provoke the interlocutor’s desire to quickly calm down the angry manipulator. That's all he needs.

There are very, very many ways to manipulate. Manipulation, as human psychology, is not allowed to stand still; it develops along with the world around people.

Ways to resist manipulation

Manipulation is a phenomenon that can seriously affect life. However, it has a number of disadvantages. The most significant of them is easy destructibility. As soon as the object of influence realizes this, it will no longer be possible to influence him in this way. This means that protection against manipulation comes into play. There are several techniques that are suitable in one case or another.

Passive

The manipulation has been recognized, but it is not advisable to quarrel with this person. For example, if this is an alcoholic neighbor in a deranged state, you cannot predict how he will behave if he receives a refusal.

Alcoholic

Or if it is a boss, colleague, wife or husband, child, mother, with whom you want to maintain a good relationship. Then everything can be, as they say, “released on the brakes”:

• Pretend that the question or topic of conversation is not clear.
• Gently move the conversation in a different direction.
• Ask clarifying questions, gaining time. At this moment, come up with a weighty, significant reason for refusal.

There are nuances and subtleties here. First, you need to remain calm. The slightest gap, and it will be more difficult to defend yourself, the manipulator will begin to press with renewed vigor. Secondly, in order to perceive less of what is being suggested, you can try to switch to your internal thoughts or contemplation of the environment. Let the opponent's speech flow into nowhere.

Active

One of the ways to protect against manipulation is an active, or even aggressive technique. It is used when there is no fear of conflict, when a possible deterioration in relations is not scary.

The first rule of the technique is to speak directly, openly and honestly about your feelings. Express dissatisfaction, indignation, bewilderment. This will either discourage the manipulator or force him to use aggression in response and reveal his plans. After this there are two possible ways:

1. Demand a brief answer to what the manipulator needs, and give a clear refusal. In this way, you will be able to put the manipulator in his place, as if winning back your right to personal boundaries. This will entail an inevitable deterioration in the relationship between the interlocutors, therefore resorting to this method should be done as a last resort.

Conflict between manipulator and manipulated

1. Apply manipulation in response. It is usually easy to fight a manipulator in this way - he does not expect such a move. Consequently, the object of its influence will be in an advantageous position.

2.1. Family

Psychological influence in the family takes place in the relationship between spouses, as well as between parents and children. 1. Relationship between spouses

.
In marital relationships, influence is often of a manipulative nature, carried out unconsciously, manifested in the desire to put the spouse in a dependent position, to command him. The reason
is our own incompetence.
Most often, to achieve any goal, spouses use the following methods of influence: 1) threat of divorce
(“I am filing for divorce, you are not going to change”);
2) threat of betrayal
(“If you yell at me, I’ll stay overnight somewhere else”);
3) the formation of a feeling of guilt
(“You took away my youth”, “If it weren’t for you, I would have become...”);
4) insincere ingratiation, flattery
;
5) humiliation, insult by jealousy
.
As possible options for getting out of the situation of manipulation in the family, various authors suggest: 1) learn to give in (a feeling of pleasure appears that you have brought joy to your loved one), but not sacrifice (there is humility, a feeling of annoyance in the soul); 2) build relationships on respect, trust, awareness of the value of the spouse’s personality, his right to his own opinion and interests (this is the basis of a healthy marriage); 3) avoid omissions (unexpressed feelings and thoughts cause internal tension and conflict); 4) not control your own and your spouse’s behavior, thoughts; 5) sincerely express emotions. According to a number of authors, the following spouses are most prone to manipulation. The husband
is disorganized at work, passive, cannot cope with professional responsibilities, does not have time to help around the house, does not want to be active or change anything.
Such a husband tries to shift responsibility for failures onto his wife, create a feeling of guilt in her, and “discourage” her from finding fault with him. The manipulation continues for a long time. The wife
is dissatisfied with her social status, lack of attention and communication.
Forms a feeling of guilt in her husband for everything that did not work out in her life; provokes aggression and then, with good reason, claims that such an attitude on the part of her husband led her to social failure. Young lovers
, according to E. Miars (1997), are a colorful example of unconscious mutual influence.
The ideas of one are transferred to another, but this process is not realized. Middle-aged people are somewhat less likely to fall under the same influence of their loved ones. E. Sjostrom (2004) expresses the idea that the most difficult thing in a relationship between lovers is to be honest with one’s own feelings. Treating another person only as a physical body reduces relationships between people to the it-it level, when people deserve relationships at the you-thou level. 2. Relationships between parents and children
- both successfully manipulate each other.
All parents act as leaders in relation to their own children and therefore strive to take the position of Master, Judge and God, whose instructions must be followed unquestioningly. The main expression that such parents resort to when raising a child is “you must.” Any protests on his part are suppressed, which allows him to achieve complete control. The main methods of influencing a judgmental and omnipotent parent include: 1) control through feelings of guilt
(“You are already a big boy, but you behave like a little one,” “Your behavior will give me a heart attack”);
2) encouraging others-oriented
(“You don’t want others to think that you can’t handle it”);
3) the use of love
(“I love you so much when you get good grades,” “You don’t love me, otherwise you wouldn’t behave like that”);
4) the use of expectations
(“How are you going to become as strong as your father?” “Everyone in our family studied well”).

The manipulation process: sequence of actions during suggestion

To achieve the desired effect of influence, you need to consistently apply the basic methods of manipulation:

Address your interlocutor by name. Psychologists working with personality development advise addressing interlocutors by name to increase the level of trust. The name makes the appeal personal, the individual involuntarily listens to it

But it is important to watch the tone: it should not be threatening or patronizing, otherwise the effect will be the opposite. Start a conversation with a compliment. Another technique that helps to win over your interlocutor is to say a routine compliment.

This helps keep the conversation casual, even if the manipulator is involved in business negotiations. Copy behavior. By adopting the pose of the interlocutor and repeating his gestures, the manipulator adapts to him. Adjustment simplifies the process of subjugating the victim, lulling attention. But it is important not to overdo it: if the object notices intentional copying, he moves away. The copying style should be unnoticeable. Use the fatigue effect. At the end of the working day, employees' critical perception decreases. They want to go home and become vulnerable to any influence. If at this time you invite them to participate in a survey, they will answer in a way that is beneficial to the manipulator in order to free themselves quickly. Do me a small favor. A little help does not formally force a colleague to reciprocate the gesture, but he will feel obligated. Using this feeling, you can ask for a favor, most likely he will do it. Show increased attention. Everyone wants to feel exceptional. You can play on this desire by paying increased attention to the object. Feeling flattered, a person will not be able to notice the coercion. Anticipate desires. This technique also works to create a feeling of exclusivity. The object takes the prediction of desires for flattery and easily lets the manipulator into the zone of trust, not noticing external pressure.

The means of manipulation must be appropriate to the situation, so some methods can be skipped if they can cause harm or reveal the intentions of the manipulator.

Who to choose as a victim

Before mastering methods of manipulation, take a close look at the victim to whom your influence will be directed. If this is a strong personality with clear values ​​and life beliefs, the goal may be initially doomed to failure. You need to spend a lot of time studying the characteristics and vulnerabilities of the victim (in psychology they are called “buttons”) that can be pressed to achieve the goal.

An example of such “buttons”:

• passion for pleasure;
• naivety;
• the need for constant approval;
• lack of independence;
• impressionability;
• immaturity in judgment;
• inability to say “no”;
• narcissism;
• locus of control (attribute everything to external factors, and not to one’s own responsibility);
• vague personal boundaries;
• excessive altruism (willingness to help others to the detriment of oneself);
• low self-esteem, uncertainty, lack of self-esteem;
• emotional dependence on the manipulator (the wife loves her husband too much);
• gullibility;
• greed;
• loneliness;
• old or young age.

Take a closer look at the person you are going to manipulate. If it has at least one of the above qualities, with the right technique you can achieve anything from it.

We draw a conclusion. In order not to doom your idea to failure in advance, for 2-3 weeks you need to observe the person you are going to manipulate and find vulnerabilities.