How to close the gestalt yourself. Reasons for unclosed gestalts

313 1 0

I often hear from people that they need to close the gestalt and they don’t even understand what it is and why it is important for personal success, a calm and happy life. How to close the gestalt yourself, read below, I will give a couple of ideas, but I do not guarantee the result. Why? I will explain in this article.

How to close a gestalt?

The most important task for closing the gestalt is to understand that everything happens inside you. The responsibility for what is happening lies only in the depths of your soul and childhood. Accordingly, you need to start by recognizing that by understanding yourself, you will change the world/situation around you.

Next, become aware of the situation that you don’t like. It could be relationships, money problems, or the victim's condition. You can write down absolutely any problem here. After all, a problem is essentially an unfinished gestalt.

Choosing a problem

Once you have chosen the problem, trust yourself and ask the question, how old were you when the problem appeared in your life? The main thing here is to try not to think logically, but to feel with your inner gaze what your intuition tells you.

The answer can be absolutely any 1,3,5,9, 15 years. Even the prenatal period sometimes comes up. Just trust yourself and choose the age at which the incomplete gestalt appeared. You may not even see the picture of the situation yet.

For example, you felt that the unclosed gestalt is at 1.5 years. Next, we ask questions to remember the situation:

1. Morning afternoon Evening Night?
2. Outdoors or indoors?
3. Day of the week?
4. Season?
5. Who is next to you?

When you asked yourself questions, a picture of a situation in which the gestalt remained open begins to emerge.

Next, ask yourself the question: (be sure to write it down on a piece of paper)

What emotions do you feel in this situation?

What decisions and conclusions were made in this situation?

What would you like differently?

How would you like to feel in this situation?

What would you like to do?

What would you like to say?

Example:

I’m 1.5 years old, I’m in my crib at home, it’s evening and autumn outside, I see my mom and dad quarreling over the fact that my father came home drunk again.

At this moment I feel:

Fear, apathy, anger, resentment, anger, hopelessness, self-pity... etc., etc., write everything you feel down on a piece of paper.

What decisions/conclusions were made in this situation?

1. Nobody loves me
2. They don't pay attention to me
3. I'm not needed
4. Fear of being alone
5. Everyone leaves me

The solutions are again just for example, everyone will have their own!

What would you like differently?

So that mom and dad wouldn’t quarrel, they came up to me and hugged me, took me in their arms.

Or, for example, so that such a situation does not exist at all, and I just lie and play with toys or what do children do at 1.5 years old?

How would you like to feel in this situation?

Love, care, joy, happiness, security, respect, etc., etc. write down everything you feel.

What would you like to do?

Hug mom and dad. Eat, sleep, play...

What would you like to say? (say it out loud)

Tell mom and dad that I love them...

Say: I love mom and dad

Now say out loud the essence of everything you wrote down:

...I allow myself... (say the essence from the point “What would you like differently”)

I give myself permission so that mom and dad don’t quarrel

I allow myself that this situation would not exist at all

...I allow myself... (say the essence from the point “How would you like to feel”)

I allow myself to feel: Love, care, joy, happiness, security, respect

That's all, in theory, you were supposed to cry there, and the situation would improve, if, of course, you took it seriously. Usually people don’t want to bother, but just quickly go through the points and with a sense of accomplishment that it didn’t work out, start writing angry comments that it doesn’t work.

Please don't do this, just take it seriously.

BUT, to be honest, closing the gestalt on your own is very difficult, for what reasons I will describe below.

You don't see or hear

“Out of sight, out of mind” is the best proverb of all time. Whoever invented it accurately determined the essence of what was happening, probably having some experience. Indeed, when you don’t see a person, you know less about him, he disappears from consciousness: thoughts about him become less and less. That’s why you shouldn’t open his pages on social networks or write tearful SMS. The greater the distance between people, the better.

“When you leave, go away”: this is what the expert on human souls, the great writer E.M. Remarque said. In addition, he wrote that “Love is not stained by friendship. The end is the end." These short but precise sayings tell us that life is multifaceted, but short. Many suffered from unrequited love, betrayal, and leaving relationships. It seemed that the world was collapsing, you would never be happy again. You are deprived of your usual emotions. But, as the American philosopher Richard Bach wrote, “What matters is not whether we lose the game, what matters is how we do it and what we take away from the situation. In a strange way, defeat turns into victory.”

Gestalt is, in simple words.

Translation from German: incompleteness.

All our problems in life are, in fact, unfinished gestalts.

Money, relationships and even health, because... Many diseases appear due to psychosomatics.

If we take from the example above, in that situation where mom and dad were quarreling, you expected that mom and dad would come up and hug you and say that they love you. But this did not happen, so the gestalt is not closed.

And that’s it, from this moment you begin to live in need to be loved. By the way, this is where the feeling of jealousy is born.

What do we get next? In any of your relationships, you demand love from your partner and do not always give yours. You as a consumer or owner.

It is important to note here that everything manifests itself differently for everyone.

So, what is next?

Accordingly, you began to project the same situation onto your relationship, you also quarrel with your partner, and in fact it doesn’t matter whether he is good or bad, you are just following the same program as mom and dad

Moreover, your partner also projects the relationship of his mother and father onto your relationship.

"Husband and wife, one of Satan"

But the need for love in that coin remained unfinished, so we just need to change the picture in our head from negative to positive and that’s it, the relationship will improve, and you will become a little happier.

Psychologists would NOT want you to know these secrets about yourself

—Imagine this situation...
What if, instead of paying for years for useless consultations with a psychologist, in 21 days you can work with yourself? Get rid of negative thoughts and states forever. And instead live a calm and happy life? Stop living in stress due to relationships or constant lack of money?

Tell me this is impossible?

I thought so too, until I started working with myself

LIVING HAPPY IS EASY

My name is Ivan, I am 35 years old, and I have been practicing psychology for 15 years. I have studied all the basic methods and techniques through which I help people find happiness. NLP, hypnosis, body-image therapy. I was invited on television as an expert.

And it was... just a nightmare!

I lived in a state of depression for 7 years (constant stress exhausted me). I had a lot of low self-confidence (my self-esteem was below 0). I could not calmly communicate with people, it seemed to me that I was not worthy of them.

The relationship did not work out (because I was very negative, jealous, a doormat). I’m generally silent about decent earnings; I earned 15,000 rubles a month and thought that was the limit. I didn’t want to live... Envy.

The worst thing is, I thought I would have to live like this forever, and I don’t deserve love and happiness.

But it only got worse, negative states fell on me like a snowball. It felt like I was sitting in a deep, black hole from which there was no way out. Hopelessness, despair, pain, resentment.

My life has turned into endless torture. But then a miracle happened...

I FOUND THE KEY... EVERYONE HAS IT...

One day my father came home from work, a little drunk, although he never drank much.

He came into the kitchen..., looked at me with a dissatisfied expression and began to say with anger how worthless I was, how I couldn’t do anything, and in general, how sorry he was that he was my father.

At first I felt severe mental pain (this is very painful to hear from my family). Then I got offended (does that mean I’m not a favorite son?!) And then an insight came to me...

I received that magical kick that I had been waiting for all my life. It changed my thinking, my life and my relationships with my environment.

I had already forgiven my father simply because he told me the truth and I was happy about it!

But then the most interesting thing began...

Literally 5 minutes later I was already sitting at the computer and writing out all the psychological (!) methods of working with myself.

I was even confused, because my plans were to continue to suffer all my life.

It was such an incredible feeling of freedom and desire to do something that I burst into tears of happiness.

THE MAIN SECRET OF HAPPINESS

If you think that you cannot change your life, become rich or successful, or create a happy relationship - you are mistaken!

You can change your life by changing your thinking and the main thing is to do it EASILY!

• 5 simple and powerful methods of working with yourself (they work even if you use them incorrectly) - You don’t have to turn to psychologists, you are your own psychologist.

• “The secret method” of working through any negative state. This will allow you to eliminate the negative and switch to the positive in 5 minutes.

• 15 minutes a day - Just 15 minutes a day to change your life 180 degrees. Become happier and more joyful.

• Saving up to 100,000 rubles in 1 year - You will save on trips to a psychologist, and spend the saved money on a vacation by the sea.

• 21 days – It only takes 21 days for you to see changes in your life. You will start smiling. Wake up with joy.

DOWNLOAD THE “GUIDE TO CHANGING YOURSELF” FOR FREE

For 7 days, access to the “Guide to Changing Yourself” will be free, everyone can download it from Telegram using the button below.

PS If you want to say “thank you” to me, just download the guide and start using it every day.

PPS How about becoming happy today? =)

The emergence and development of the school of Gestalt psychology

Gestalt psychology was born after one very important experiment by Max Wertheimer called the “phi-phenomenon”. The essence of the study: using a tachostoscope and a strobe, the scientist observed two straight lines (stimuli) in the participants, transmitting them different speeds. Thus he found out that:

• lines are perceived sequentially if the gap is large;
• the lines are realized simultaneously if the gap is minimal;
• awareness of movement appears (the testee followed the movement of the line in a certain direction, and not two together or one after another);
• “phi-phenomenon” if the gap is optimal (exclusively pure movement is perceived, the subject understands that there is movement, but without changing the position of the line itself).

He outlined the results of the experiment in detail in his work in 1912. This and his other works attracted the interest of many famous scientists of the time. Further, Gestalt psychology acquired many representatives, the most important of which is K. Koffka.

The results of his own research are shown in Perception: An Introduction to Gestalt Theory. In 1921, the book “Fundamentals of Mental Development” was published, which tells about the formation of child psychology. The work was extremely popular both in Germany and abroad.

Koffka's research on perception in children revealed a number of interesting patterns. One of them: initially, the child actually owns a set of partial and not very logical images of the entire external world. Then the scientist decided that perception is strongly influenced by the ratio of figure and background on which the object is located. Afterwards he formulated the law of transduction in psychology. In the Gestalt school, this is one of the theories of perception, briefly outlining which it turns out that children are aware not of the colors themselves, but of their combinations.

Why is it difficult to close the gestalt on your own?

This is the most important question. I have been studying psychology since I was 15 years old, as I myself had a lot of problems in relationships, low self-esteem, resentment towards parents, and so on.

I searched for many techniques to help me free myself from negativity from the past. I worked with myself for 7 years and thought that I was effectively closing gestalts. But I was wrong.

When I started working with my psychologist (yes, yes, psychologists are crazy themselves) I was simply shocked how effective and easy it is to work when you are led, and not with yourself.

Simply put, it is very difficult to independently find the root cause of an unclosed gestalt, which can be hidden even in the prenatal period. You cannot guide yourself deeply. This is the whole huge problem of independent work.

You will simply remove what is on the surface, but you will never remove the root cause (root) yourself.

While working with a psychologist, I realized that you need someone who will control and guide you, guide you, provoke you a little, and then there will be happiness and the immediate effect of a closed gestalt.

What is the danger?

Unclosed gestalt is a condition that can develop into serious psychological problems. People constantly accumulate a huge amount of unfinished gestalts and don’t even notice it. As a result, over the years, many people develop nervousness; it seems that everything is not going as it should.

When the gelstat in a relationship is not closed, first of all, the person begins to experience constant discomfort and dissatisfaction with life. This can even provoke suicidal thoughts.

Nervoses, psychoses and other pathologies may develop. A person begins to suffer from prolonged depression. The individual becomes very lazy, apathetic, it seems that the person is going with the flow and is no longer trying to change anything in his life.

Wealth, success and unclosed gestalt

A very important topic for our society, most of us want to become rich and successful. But until you close all the gestalts associated with these topics, you shouldn’t even dream about big money.

After all, we get all the information about the world from our environment, right?

Just imagine that your mom and dad told you that money is bad, the rich steal everything, and so on in the same spirit. Do you think it will be easy for you to earn a lot of money, become rich and successful?

Of course not!

Therefore, money gestalts also need to be closed.

When is the help of a psychotherapist needed?

Often it is not possible to close the gestalt on your own. Even moving to another country, changing jobs and developing new hobbies does not change the situation much. A permanent nervous state gradually develops and panic attacks may begin.

The inability to build new relationships can begin to negatively impact work. The person becomes forgetful and cannot concentrate. In this case, you should talk to a psychologist.

You should definitely consult a psychotherapist if you experience suicidal thoughts or prolonged depression. Sometimes one conversation with a specialist is enough to solve the problem. In other cases, the doctor may prescribe medication.

conclusions

I don’t know how well I described to you the moments of closing the gestalt because... Now in Moscow there is a sultry heat (07.2021), from which the brain melts.

I want to convey that if you work on your own, try not to expect instant results because... Most likely you will not get to the root of the problem on your own.

The most interesting thing is that if you remove the root of the problem, then all the secondary situations that occurred later are automatically removed.

As an example, let’s take the topic of jealousy; it usually forms 3-4 months from conception in the mother’s womb. And the reason for it is that the father did not want the child and abandoned him. It’s worse if both parents didn’t want the child, there will be a big tangle of problems.

And if you close this gestalt at the very root, then all the situations where you were jealous in life will close themselves. Did you explain it clearly? If not, write in the comments and I will describe it in more detail or even rewrite the article.

Impact on loved ones

Not only the person himself suffers from an incomplete gestalt, but also his close people. In this situation, they experience serious worries and constantly try to get in touch with someone who continues to live in the past.

The problem may lie elsewhere. For example, a child in childhood really wanted to become a musician, but later his parents said that this was a stupid idea and in the end he had to study to become a lawyer. In this case, throughout his life he had an unfinished gestalt, since he could not even try to make his dream come true.

But, when in adulthood he himself has a child, he will try to send him to a music school. At the subconscious level, this method allows you to close the gelstat. But in this case, another child suffers, who will also possibly suffer because of his unfulfilled desires.

Vdovin Ivan

• More than 15 years in psychology
• Owner of 2 successful businesses
• Developed his own method “Key Therapy”
• Certified NLP Practitioner
• Certified Hypnotherapist
• In practice I use: Gestalt therapy, imagery therapy, body therapy, art therapy, hypnosis, Hellinger constellations
• Helped over 100 clients
• I invested more than 500,000 rubles in my education
• My blog is visited by more than 1500 people per day

Reviews

How to find out if there is an unclosed gelstate

You can close the gelstat on your own only by completely concentrating and letting go of past grievances, ceasing to dwell on the emotions you have experienced, but rather trying to throw them out as soon as possible.

Basic rules on how to close a gestalt

You can find out whether an incomplete gelstate exists in the human psyche in 2 ways:

Role-playing game

You can also cope with unfinished gelstat with the help of a role-playing game, built in the form of “what would have happened if the relationship had continued.”

For this scenario, a person may need a suitable partner, a figurehead whose task is to:

• accept an apology or ask for forgiveness;
• express your grievances and discontent;
• provide answers to questions that arise;
• point out possible errors.

By playing in this way, you can logically end a broken relationship, the main thing is to take what is happening seriously. After staging the role-playing game, a person should give free rein to his imagination and draw himself the most desired development of events.

In this case, you need to start with pleasant moments, such as a wedding and the birth of children, and then move on to the inevitable showdowns due to domestic quarrels, due to the distribution of responsibilities, difficulties with money and disobedience of children. It is necessary to present such unpleasant events in all “colors”, concentrating as much as possible on the details of fictitious events.

A person can present the formed model of “family” to his friends, recounting the “difficulties of family life”, and share fears and experiences. After a thorough discussion of the situation, the desired “liberation” comes and the separation that happened in real life will no longer be perceived as tragically as before.

At the final stage, you should simply come to terms with the situation that has arisen, realizing that compared to the events that happen every day in the world with other people, it is practically harmless.

If you are unable to cope with the problem on your own, it is recommended to contact a Gelstatt psychologist, whose task is to build and analyze the situation, as well as help you overcome the psychological trap that interferes with building further relationships.

Incomplete gelstat is a serious psychological condition that forces a person to relive a traumatic situation over and over again, becoming mentally burnt out and being in a state of prolonged stress. Dangerous in its desire for completion, gelstatt can cause severe mental distress and the impossibility of building new, happy relationships, as a result of which it requires its logical conclusion, carried out both independently and with the help of a psychologist.