How to stop loving someone you love very much?

Nothing can hold you back from pursuing a happy future more than the lingering wound of a past relationship.

It doesn’t matter how the circumstances developed, who was right and who was wrong.

The problem is that the pain that has arisen prevents you from moving forward, which is why it is so important for you to get an answer to the question of how to stop loving a person.

The reason why it is difficult for you to stop loving a person, although you consciously understand that there is no other way out, is due to the state of your subconscious, which has not fully come to terms with the events that happened.

Acceptance of the current situation can only occur when the subconscious finally considers the events irreversible.

Most people who want to stop loving do not allow themselves to accept the fact that their former lover is no longer in their lives.

How do you know when it’s time to stop loving?

To fall out of love means to forget and erase from the present.
Modern realities are such that people who were in a relationship and remained friends after its end cannot be found “by day.” Most couples prefer not to see each other after separation, so as not to reopen old wounds. And this strategy is largely correct, since it allows you to avoid reminders of the mental pain experienced by both parties. However, before breaking up completely and irrevocably, it is also important to understand how and when this should be done. After all, a breakup is a responsible decision. If you take an irrevocable step spontaneously, having poorly weighed it and thought it through, you may bitterly regret it.

Psychologists identify several guidelines, based on which an individual is able to clearly understand that the time to leave has come:

1. Manipulation.
   If you know for sure that your “other half” is trying to impose their point of view on everything, then you need to leave immediately. Otherwise, you will be made into a puppet who has no right to your own opinion.
2. Inertia.
   Psychotherapists know of many cases where couples did not break up only because the partners who made them lived together for too long. Staying close not out of love, but out of habit, is a disastrous thing, fraught with the feeling that the best years of life were not given to someone who deserves it. Therefore, if you feel that your feelings have long dried up, do not hesitate and do not expect them to miraculously be resurrected. Take the initiative into your own hands and decide to break up.
3. Fear of loneliness.
   For this reason, women mainly try to avoid the end of a relationship, since they do not feel confident that they can find a better match than the one they have now. However, it should be remembered that feelings cannot be built on fear. At the same time, love loses all its attractiveness, and instead of joy it brings bitterness and annoyance.
4. The lover keeps the relationship secret from everyone.
   If your partner is embarrassed to tell family and friends about who he is dating, then this is a serious reason to think about whether you are a “toy” for a while? He has fun spending his leisure time with her, but until a more profitable match comes along.
5. Lack of reciprocity of feelings.
   Love should burn in both hearts with equal strength; if this is not the case, then any one-sided fuse, even the strongest, will gradually go out. Are you ready to carry the burden of affection for two?
6. Rudeness and lack of respect.
   If the “other half” proves its superiority with physical force, seasoning it all with a daily portion of reproaches, then you need to leave immediately. The mistake, in this case, would be to decide to stay and silently endure the humiliation.
7. Treason.
   The fact that you were cheated on completely destroys all the trust built between you. According to statistics, about 90% of couples can no longer recover from such a blow and break up in the near future.
8. Different plans and views for the future.
   If your lover prefers a relationship without obligations, and you dream of a full-fledged family, then it is better to leave immediately; nothing good will come of this relationship.

   For reference!

   All attempts to change a person will end in scandals and incrimination of you in attempts to impose your opinion.

9. Endless comparisons with ex-partners.
   You shouldn’t even try to understand whether the comparison is being made in a positive or negative way. The only important thing is that the one next to you has not yet completely moved on from the past relationship. And this may well end in a sharp break, or these parallels and analogies will continue for a long time, but do you have the strength to endure them?

Accept the fact that everything in this world is temporary

• Your object of adoration can always change . You need to understand the fact that months and years fly by, a person can change. He cannot remain the same person all the time. You yourself change throughout your life.
• It's the same with life . Everything in life is temporary and changes. There is nothing that remains unchanged. Everything has the end.
• People don't like it and resist it . People don't like it and don't want to face the fact that they can control everything. They cling to moments, to people.
• If you continue to cling , you will continue to lose and experience heaviness and bitterness. If you have already managed to find a good person for yourself, then you will succeed again.
• There's no reason why you can't create a new, strong relationship. Accept your journey called life as it comes. Thus, you will no longer need any psychological methods to force yourself to stop loving a person.

How to understand that you have fallen out of love

HE stopped loving HER...

The realization that he himself has already done this a long time ago can also help an individual stop loving him.

Let's look at the characteristic signs that a lover's feelings have cooled:

• your “other half” ignores you, doesn’t answer the phone when you call, and tries to avoid meeting you. This speaks both of the possible complete fact of betrayal on the part of the chosen one (he is ashamed or scared of accidentally giving himself away), and also of the fact that he is simply unpleasant to see you;
• quarrels and scandals that arise out of the blue and over trifles become more frequent;
• a complete lack of attention from the lover, especially in contrast to the gifts and care that was at the beginning of the relationship;
• avoidance of physical contact, intimacy, tactile affection in the form of hugs or holding hands;
• “going out in public” stops, the chosen one prefers to visit mutual friends separately from you;
• in some cases, when they lose love, especially among men, they stop being jealous of their chosen ones;
• women, having lost interest in their partner, begin to “jokingly” invite their friends to meet them as a possible alternative to themselves;
• avoiding eye contact, the partner tries not to look into your eyes, as if he is to blame for something;
• the partner often stays late at work and is not in a hurry to go home;
• your lover has practically stopped smiling at you when you meet, his stories about his affairs are “dry” and superficial.

Each of the above signs is an alarm bell that you are no longer loved. But if you were already trying to end the relationship, then this will only benefit you.

Why do people stop loving each other

There is a phrase “Loving a person who does not love you is one of the most hopeless feelings, since you cannot control it.” There are exceptions: Dante Alighieri carried his love for Beatrice throughout his life, who did not even know about it; many literary works were created on the basis of this feeling. But you and I are not Dante, so unrequited love devastates us.

People stop loving each other for various reasons:

• lack of communication - incorrect dialogue to solve problems;
• separate leisure time - it is not surprising that new acquaintances appear, which often lead to relationships;
• habit - feelings pass, and the habit is no longer interesting;
• lack of confidence in your own partner - jealousy arises over views, time spent outside the home, etc.;
• routine - there is not enough change, emotions in relationships;
• cooling - there is no longer the former passion, you don’t want to create romance in the relationship;
• infidelity - betrayal for many is a sharp “sobering up” when feelings are instantly shaken off;
• unforgiveness - “deeds of bygone days” are constantly remembered, complaints begin, old grievances surface;
• lack of sincerity - silence, secrets and omissions lead to mistrust and destruction of relationships;
• perseverance, selfishness are one of the stupid reasons for separation when someone does not know how to compromise;
• illusions - they believed in a castle with a prince, but got a hut with a snoring man, women are more susceptible to illusions in relationships, they lack a real outlook on life;
• there was no real love - well, everything is clear...

Unrequited love: 5 rules for how to move on

Psychologists in their practice often encounter requests from clients about how to stop loving a person whom you love very much, but who does not reciprocate.
Unrequited love is a serious problem that can lead a person to depression and even suicide. In this regard, a list of recommendations has been developed to help get rid of painful but unsuccessful attachment:

1. Don't try to make someone develop feelings for you.
   This is an absolutely hopeless endeavor that will end in low self-esteem and loss of self-respect for you. Even if you manage to attract attention for a while, the subsequent abrupt break in the relationship will cause much more harm than a relationship that was not started at all. It is more constructive to save your energy for a more “responsive” partner who does not have to be conquered, like Mount Everest, and who loves you in return.
2. Accept yourself and move on.
   Being offended by someone else’s indifference is not the most productive activity; it is much better to get out of the vicious circle of “What if...” and stop living in ethereal illusions. Besides, if you look closely, there are quite a lot of people around who will happily respond to your attempts to get to know them.
3. Do not be angry.
   Make it a rule to never speak negatively about those who have rejected you. At the very least, this does not do you any credit. In addition, by producing aggression within yourself, you only make things worse for yourself. There are a lot of people and “another person’s soul is in the dark,” so forgive the individual his short-sightedness and look further.
4. Switch to some pleasant activity.
   Listen to classical music, go to nature, go to the movies with friends. Anything is better than sitting at home and replaying in your head the impossibility of being with an unattainable chosen one.
5. Treat yourself.
   Shopping is a great way to take your mind off gloomy thoughts. It’s time for a woman to pamper herself by buying a new outfit or cosmetics, and a man will be happy to buy a new accessory (watch, mobile phone).

By following these simple rules, you can completely stop loving someone who does not reciprocate in a fairly short time. A little patience and all negative thoughts will become a thing of the past. This means that you will be open to love again.

Parting with a lover

It's good if the relationship ended mutually. But how to survive the pain if only one person wanted it? Anyone who did not plan the breakup experiences warm feelings mixed with the taste of sudden betrayal. This prevents you from fully working, eating, communicating, and taking care of yourself. The ex-partner completely loses himself and psycho-emotional control. Depression, tears, and aggression appear. Often it comes to suicidal thoughts.

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Situations are different. It is important to be able to forget a man and not remember, completely throw him out of your head and start living again. I will help you with this, to do this, sign up for my personal consultation. I will organize the thoughts in my head and find a way out to the long-awaited freedom from love addiction. You will regain peace of mind and self-confidence, life will be filled with new colors and impressions.

How to fall out of love: the main rule

And in conclusion, I would like to outline the main rule that all those who want to quickly stop loving another person should adhere to.
It sounds like this: do not stop living richly and fully. There is no need to make a tragedy out of this and indulge in fatal thoughts, because this is not the first and not the last parting that you will have to face. Experts advise changing your attitude towards what a person cannot change. If love has ended, then it is better to perceive it as an invaluable experience that allows you to be better in the future, with another partner. You shouldn’t focus on the negativity that our everyday existence is already full of.

Remember that in the question of how to stop loving a person whom you love very much, the advice of a psychologist is a temporary support; you will have to do most of this task on your own. The speed with which you cope with the problem will depend on your actions and decisions. How do readers cope with falling out of love with someone? Please leave your comment below the text.

Tsygvintseva Anastasia · Sep 20, 2021