Infantility: what is it in psychology, types and causes

Infantility is a stable personality characteristic, a complex of external and internal signs indicating the immaturity of the individual. Infantilism is personal immaturity. An infantile person is distinguished by childishness in actions, judgments, reactions, and appearance. We are talking about both a physical lag of one or two stages of age development, and a psychological one. If both occur, then this is harmonious infantilism.

Few people understand that infantilism is a psychological problem; more often, infantilism is mistaken for a feature of character and personality. As a rule, infantile people look much younger than their age and are characterized by increased emotionality, naivety, and capriciousness. Now let’s look in more detail at what infantilism and infantilism are in psychology in simple words, and also define the signs of infantilism and the causes of infantilism. Let's start by analyzing the meaning of the words “infantility” and “infantilism”.

What is infantility

What does infantility mean? Let's give a definition. The name is derived from the Latin word infantilis, which means “childish”. The term infantilism is derived from the same word. That is, infantilism and infantilism are mental and/or physical underdevelopment of the individual. For example, a person may be 30 years old, but he looks like he’s 20, but talks like he’s 12. His clothes, hairstyle, interests, preferences in music, timbre of voice, entertainment, social circle, etc. all hint that the age in the passport is not corresponds to the psychological age of a person. Such people are called infantes.

Often in psychology the terms infantilism and infantilism are equated, but there is still a slight difference between them. Infantilism refers to the phenomenon of childishness as such, and the word infantilism is used in relation to a specific person, action, judgment, etc. According to another theory, infantilism is a popular interpretation of the professional term “infantilism”, that is, there is no difference in the essence of the concepts at all. Later in the article we will consider these terms as synonyms.

Note! Developmental delays may be noticeable on one or both levels: physical and psychological.

Where does it come from

Infantility is the result of destructive upbringing in the family. Let's look at parenting models that lead to infantilism:

Overprotection. Parents decide everything for the child, protect them from any life problems and difficulties. As a result, a person turns out to be unprepared for adult life. He does not have developed self-care skills, he cannot take care of himself, feed himself, provide housing, resolve some everyday issues in public service institutions, etc. Sometimes it gets to the point that a person, for example, cannot make an appointment with a doctor and go to the hospital.
"Idol of the family." The child's every whim is satisfied, he is worshiped, his parents sacrifice themselves for him. Growing up, a person is faced with a harsh reality: those around him are not ready to worship him just as thoughtlessly. But the man himself remains that capricious child, which is why he has problems in his life.
Authoritarianism. Parents suppress the child, ignore his desires and needs, and are not interested in his opinion. The result is the same as with overprotection - the child gets used to having everything decided for him and grows up with this attitude. The difference is that with overprotection, the subject more often remains attached to his parents, and with an authoritarian parenting style, he leaves his parents and enters into other codependent relationships, where he is again suppressed and humiliated.
Permissive style. Parents are not at all interested in the child’s life and do not prepare him for an independent adult life. It develops according to the principle “whatever grows, grows.” But the result here is not so clear. Some children, left to their own devices, on the contrary, grow up early. Especially in cases where they have to take care of younger brothers and sisters. However, it also happens that a person grows up, but remains on the psychological level as that same wandering child who “sticks” first to one person and then to another.

Thus, the foundations of infantilism are laid in childhood. It's all about the pedagogical mistakes of parents. They do not want to let their child go because of personal fears, unprocessed traumas and other psychological problems. How to tie a child to yourself forever? Make him an infant, dependent on his parents.

Interesting! Children with infantile parents often, on the contrary, mature early. They have to take on the role of a parent and be responsible for their moms and dads. This model is also incorrect and carries its own risks, but this is a topic for another article.

general information

Infantility is a phenomenon when an adult behaves like a child.
Infantility is immaturity, childishness, underdevelopment of the psyche.

An infantile person is a person who is dominated by incorrect behavior, the inability to take responsibility for his actions, the inability to make decisions on his own, the absence of a goal in life, or any aspirations.

This condition implies that an adult has the behavior and character of a child. Infantility is quite common in the practice of psychologists and leads to the emergence of other problems in the life of an individual. A person is able to fight this manifestation, however, he will need constant work on himself.

When contacts between mature people and infantile people occur, one can cause irritation in the other, which can lead to conflicts.

An immature subject cannot clearly perceive the people around him, does not know how to adapt to current circumstances, and will cause others to be unwilling to communicate with him. An infantile person tries to interact with those people whose behavior reminds him of his parents. Otherwise, he risks running into conflict.

When the need for a love relationship arises, infantile girls and boys, first of all, try to find a person who resembles their dad or mom, respectively. Often in such cases, the parents themselves select the couple. As a rule, the chosen ones of infantile people are older, socially successful people. However, it must be taken into account that biological parents may have a conflict with the person who, in fact, took their place in the life of the infantile personality. It is not uncommon that it is the real mother or father who takes priority in the child’s mind, which leads to the breakdown of the marriage.

Causes

Infantility is a consequence of a failure in the separation of a child from his parents. Normally, separation begins when the child is one year old. Until a child is one year old, they are not even considered as a separate unit; in psychology it is customary to talk about a single organism - the dyad “mother and child”. Until one year of age, a child needs unity with his mother or another adult. This is how a sense of security and trust in the world is established. However, after a year, it is important to gradually give the child freedom.

At three years old, the child for the first time clearly expresses his desire to separate - the crisis of three years, or “I myself.” In adolescence, with normal development, the subject tries with all his might to get out of parental care and supervision. However, if a failure has already occurred at the previous stages, then the teenager may not try to separate from his parents.

In some cases, infantilism develops later - in adolescence or adolescence, and sometimes in early youth. This is due to the fear of life. A person perceives the world as dangerous and hostile, unpredictable, so he unconsciously decides not to grow up. If stuckness occurs in adolescence or young adulthood, then the cause of infantilism lies not in the costs of family upbringing, but in the psychological trauma received at the age where the stoppage occurred.

If we consider infantilism as a social phenomenon (some experts call infantilism a disease of modern youth), then we can identify the following factors in the emergence of infantilism:

destruction of the family institution;
loss of authority of the older generation;
the fashion for eternal youth and the fear of old age due to the negative attitude of society towards old people;
changing values (more and more people are focused on individualization and endless consumption);
economic and social vulnerability of young people (costs of state policy);
unstable situation in society;
lack of motivation to grow up (even an immature person can now find a job, friends, and many parents are ready to support their child both during the period of long education and after it).

Note! Infantile people are children who, for some reason, were unable to separate from their parents in time (according to developmental norms).

Ways to combat infantilism

The psychological state in question really prevents a person from living, making him unhappy.

How can you get away from immaturity:

Treatment of any psychological problem begins with its recognition. First you need to understand that it exists. A person needs to be helped to realize it, trying not to hurt his self-esteem. It’s difficult to talk to infantas because they don’t take criticism well, but you have to try. Otherwise, later life itself will put them in an offensive position.
It is advisable to pull the infantile personality out of a familiar, comfortable environment. If an adult lives with his parents, then the right thing to do would be to move to separate housing, even rented one. The need to provide minimal needs on one’s own will force a person to grow up. An extreme way is to change the city or even the country of residence, where there are no friends or relatives.
A person himself can start with small steps - organizing his life at home, putting things in order in the workplace. It will be difficult to immediately tackle the transformation of all areas of life; you can start with one.
It is very useful for an infant to engage in reflection and think about the reasons for his childish, immature reactions to events. “Why was I so offended and angry?” The ability to manage emotions and not follow momentary impulses is an important part on the path to recovery.
It is advisable to find motivators and set goals - strategic and for the near future. Next, you should plan the steps to achieve them, which you should strictly follow. Self-organization and a positive attitude will help instill the skills of adults.

You shouldn’t expect to grow up overnight; you won’t be able to give up your childhood in one fell swoop. But it’s worth trying, because only those who have responsibilities can have rights.

Signs of infantilism

The main, main sign of infantilism is living in your own world. It’s as if a person is in a shell that protects him from the outside, adult world.

Other signs of infantility in men and women (symptoms):

Fear of responsibility and unwillingness to work. A man or woman either sits on his partner’s neck, or continues to live at the expense of his parents and cannot build a personal life. If two infants meet, then they do not consider it anything shameful to “milk” their parents together on one or both sides.
Violation of agreements, failure to fulfill promises. The infant will not even come up with excuses, he will simply say: “I changed my mind.” Or he will use a childish one: “I forgot,” “My stomach hurts,” etc.
Shifting responsibility for your life to other people. An infantile person blames other people, fate, circumstances, power, the whole world for all his troubles.
Dependence on someone. Usually this is either a parent, or an adequately developing, psychologically mature partner, friend.
Reluctance to make serious decisions and think about the future. An infantile person lives one day at a time, has fun, has fun. He does not want to build a career, start a family and have children; he does not think about the need to purchase housing or save money. He runs away from the problems of adult life in every possible way.
Escaping reality. Running away from adult life, infants often find themselves not only hostage to dependent relationships, but also become addicted to games, communication on social networks, alcohol, drugs, food, etc.
Egocentrism. Like all children, the infant craves attention and gifts. He expects those around him to cooze with him, give him their best, and talk only about him. Most infantile people tend to pull the blanket over themselves.
Inability to admit your mistakes and your own shortcomings. Just as an infant runs away from reality, so an infantile person runs away from an honest conversation with himself.
Inability to set goals and achieve them. Infants are guided by momentary desires and impulses. They do not know how to predict the development of a situation, build a hierarchy of motives, or set priorities.
Naivety. An infantile person lacks pragmatism and rationality. He does not know how to compete in healthy ways, defend his opinion, or fight for personal happiness and success. He simply will not survive in the adult world if he is left to his own devices.

Important! An infantile person does not know how to take responsibility for his own life, and certainly cannot take care of someone else.

Who is an infantile person (infant)

Meeting infants is not uncommon in our lives. Perhaps you know a lot of them, work or live together. Let us describe such a person in order to recognize the problem and try to solve it.

Immature emotional behavior

The individual does not know how to communicate competently and logically or conduct dialogues. Statement of facts and presentation of arguments is not the infantes’ strong point. They may start calling their interlocutor names, getting personal, or even getting into a fight.

Their conclusions are hasty, their actions are not thought through. Naturally, in the eyes of other people, infantas look stupid and losing, thereby increasing the number of enemies and ill-wishers.

Blaming other people or circumstances for troubles

The unwillingness to accept responsibility for their lives forces such people to consider everyone around them to blame for the troubles, but not their loved ones. This also applies to hope, the confidence that someone will come and do everything for them. And if he does it wrong, he will be held accountable for it. They say about such people “like water off a duck’s back”; the person always has “nothing to do with it.”

A person is convinced that external conditions surrounding people must undergo changes, but not himself. Therefore, it is very difficult to work through and solve problems with infants; they hope that others will do it for them and adapt to their capricious nature.

Naivety

When an adult, like a child, does not take responsibility, he loses control over his life. The hypertrophied trust in others, characteristic of children, is not at all suitable for an adult.

The infant does not understand that there are dishonest individuals who are ready to profit from other people's problems. On the one hand, an immature person is happy to leave the solution to a problem in the hands of strangers, on the other hand, he gets into trouble because of his excessive naivety and gullibility.

Difficulties in the professional sphere

It is almost impossible for an infantile person to achieve success in his career or even just stay in one place for a long period. He is irresponsible, he can abandon any task if it is boring, not interesting or does not work out.

Such an individual cannot work in a team; he is capable of letting everyone down and leaving them with unresolved problems. As soon as an easy solution is not found, the infant leaves the problem; he has no need for difficulties, let others deal with them.

And it’s difficult to punish a person; he never admits his guilt. Therefore, the employer seeks to get rid of such an employee under any plausible pretext.

Need for guidance, a strong hand

An infantile person is so unsuited to solving problems and elementary tasks that he always requires a vector of action from the outside. They should be systematically properly motivated and coerced. A close infant needs to be coddled, persuaded or forced.

The lack of proper control over their own life makes infants completely unadapted to it and requires stimulation and a call to action from family members.

Suggestibility, following other people's advice

A person does not like to thoroughly understand some things, his views are frivolous, his opinions and judgments are superficial. Infants are greedy for advertising promises and often become members of sects and religious communities. After all, children believe in miracles so much! They hope that earthly blessings will appear by themselves, and therefore there is no need to put effort into this.

Mature individuals give their dreams a vector of development and activity. Infants simply dream, without making efforts to realize their desires, they hope for a miracle.

Inappropriateness in everyday life, mismanagement

A person doesn’t bother putting things in order; it’s boring and not interesting. It will do just fine. Remember how hard it is to get a child to put away his toys. The chaos around them becomes a direct reflection of the chaos in their heads. Clutter is a consequence of a lack of discipline and organization. The infant acts as he wants at the moment, and not as is necessary and correct.

The attitude towards money is also dictated by the desire to receive momentary pleasure. A person is able to spend his entire salary in a few days, and then be unable to satisfy basic needs.

Boastfulness

An immature person needs constant approval and praise of his virtues. He is extremely dependent on the opinions of others. The infanta is unable to achieve success and recognition through her work due to the reasons described. He attracts attention by fooling around, showing off, and sometimes humiliating other people in order to look decent compared to them.

Failure to care

If we do not know how to take responsibility for ourselves, then we cannot give anything to others. In family life, the infantile personality only demands and consumes. Even if such a person gets a pet, after a while he may throw it out onto the street or give it away. Okay pet, it’s much worse when an infant becomes a mother or father.

An immature person stuck in childhood can have a huge number of good, positive characteristics. But those qualities that make him infantile cross them out completely, preventing him from socializing and building a normal life.

Kinds

In addition to psychological trauma and costs in family education, brain damage and mental disorders lead to the development of infantility. Thus, infantilism can be congenital and acquired. On the basis of this, in psychiatry and psychology it is customary to distinguish the following types of infantilism:

Organic. Infantilism, as one of the manifestations of delayed mental development, is associated with damage to the central nervous system, for example, as a result of infections, intoxications, injuries.
Somatogenically caused infantilism. It occurs due to hormonal imbalances and damage to internal organs.
Psychogenically caused, or psychological infantilism. Arises due to costs in family education.

In addition, there are two more types of infantilism: total and partial infantilism. But we will talk in more detail about the characteristic manifestations of these types of infantilism in the next paragraph, highlighting particular forms of infantilism.

The root of the problem of infantile behavior in men

Here I will describe the reasons for infantile behavior in men, where the legs grow from, so that you understand what mistakes parents make in raising their children.

One child in the family

All attention from parents and close relatives is focused on one individual. Such a person has the feeling that the world revolves around him, but he can easily spin the world on his trunk (just kidding). But there is some truth in every joke. The child grows up spoiled, everything is owed and owed to him, but he himself gives nothing in return. A relationship with such a person is doomed to failure. And also selfishness.

Growing up in a family without a father

Second common problem. The child has no father, no support and no one to be like. The father begins to be replaced by the mother, the mother accordingly raises her child completely under guardianship, protects him from everything aggressive from the external environment, not understanding the simple thing that the external aggressive environment is useful for the development of a man.

Raised by a domineering mother

Everything is worse here. Complete suppression of the child as a man. Total control. Constant accusations and comparisons with her ex-husband, who naturally ran away a long time ago, leaving her alone with the child, now she is taking revenge on her child for everything.

And if the man has not yet run away, it means that he is being suppressed in the same way as a child. Only psychotherapy will help with this problem. The child himself will not be able to get out from under the yoke of such a mother; here he needs the help of a psychologist.

Forms of infantilism

Infantilism can manifest itself in only one area of life. Let's look at it with an example. A person is an excellent specialist, provides himself well, but at the same time he cannot build a personal life and is not able to make long-term plans, for example, about purchasing his own home. He spends everything he earns on entertainment, trinkets, clothes, etc.

Many people are distinguished by legal or financial infantilism, but at the same time they reason in a completely adult way in any other issues. Therefore, in psychology it is customary to distinguish several forms of infantilism.

Forms of infantilism:

Psychological or socio-emotional infantilism. We are talking about underdevelopment of the emotional-volitional sphere. A person’s actions, judgments, reactions, and behavior do not correspond to the age norm. Usually, getting stuck occurs in adolescence, that is, a person is prone to aggression, is categorical and hot-tempered, impulsive, and unstable. He does not want to learn, work, develop. He wants to spend time carefree, living life.
Social infantilism, or everyday. A person cannot go to the store on his own, cook his own food, or keep his apartment clean. In fact, problems often arise with finding an apartment, renting housing and paying for it. In addition, a person has difficulties entering society. Forms of manifestation of problems: isolation and self-isolation, communication with virtual friends, communication with people who are much younger in age.
Legal infantilism. This is ignorance of one’s rights and responsibilities, an inability to fight for one’s rights. Some infantas break the law, ignore the public and unspoken rules of life in society and the state. Other people cannot get what they are legally entitled to. For example, many young mothers do not know what payments they are entitled to from the state or employer.
Physiological infantilism. The man looks younger than his years. Often infantile people look like teenagers. For example, women are stuck in the body of a teenage girl without distinct secondary sexual characteristics.

Important! Infantilism should not be confused with a deviation or developmental delay. Infants do not suffer from intellectual development; they have problems in the emotional-volitional sphere.

How to help your child

Proper upbringing of a child will help in the future to get rid of immaturity

It is important to notice the presence of infantilism in a child’s behavior in time and begin to act.

Always consult the opinion of your little one, find out what he thinks about a particular problem. Discuss the family budget together. It is important that the child feels equal and feels that he is also responsible for making any decisions.
Parents can artificially create difficulties in a child’s life so that he learns to overcome them.
The baby can be sent to the sports section. It is believed that sport can strengthen a person, make him more purposeful and responsible.
Make sure that your child communicates with peers and with people who are much older than him.
You don’t need to make a decision for your baby, you don’t need to generalize it to yourself. The child must know that there is a “mother” and there is a “he”.
If the toddler made any mistakes, it is necessary to work on them, analyze his actions, and understand how everything can be corrected. It is important to explain to the child what is good and what is bad.
In cases where parents are unable to independently influence changes in the child’s behavior, they turn to a psychologist for help. A specialist may add to general therapy the use of medications that improve memory, brain activity and concentration.

Examples

Infantilism is the scourge of our time. Some psychologists believe that mild infantilism occurs in the majority of representatives of the modern generation aged 20-30 years. You may not have noticed how often you come across infantas.

Here are just some examples of immaturity:

You are trying to talk to a friend to resolve a conflict. Problem: he is offended by you for something. You ask questions to understand what exactly your words or actions affected his feelings, try to see the situation through his eyes and explain your point of view. What's the answer? Screaming, insults, leaving with the door slammed, tears, etc. - no constructive criticism, calm discussion, rational solution to the problem through the exchange of arguments and consideration of facts.
Quarrel in the family: the wife was offended and threw a tantrum because her husband refuses to take her on vacation, buy her fifth boots this month, take her to a cafe, etc. Why does he refuse? Because you need to pay off your mortgage. The wife does not understand this and continues to shout: “I want it! Buy it! You do not love me! Earn more! She behaves like a spoiled child who does not understand the value of money and is guided only by her personal immediate desires.
A man in his 30s still lives with his parents. He works, but spends everything he earns on entertainment. He doesn’t buy groceries, he doesn’t buy clothes for himself, and he doesn’t help pay for utilities. Or this option: a man has been living with his parents for 30 years, does not work and does not even try to find a job, lives at the expense of his mother and father, and regularly demands money from them for entertainment.
A couple, a man and a woman, both about 30 years old. They live separately from their parents, both work, were able to buy housing themselves, and support themselves. What is the problem? They live one day at a time, have no savings, don’t think about the future, behave and look like teenagers. They do not know how to plan expenses or set priorities.

Examples can be given endlessly. Infantility manifests itself both in everyday little things, for example, when one person, afraid of a serious conversation, avoids another person, and in something more serious. Two examples of immaturity of different scales: leaving a pregnant girlfriend and breaking something at a friend’s house, but not telling about it. Two completely different, but infantile stories.

How to overcome immaturity as an adult

A person must realize his immaturity and overcome it within himself

To become psychologically stronger, to get rid of immaturity, you need to act.

It's time to realize that you are an infantile person. A person must decide to change, do it of his own free will, and not under the pressure of others.
It is important to learn to take responsibility for your actions and stop placing it on the shoulders of others. It's time to understand that there is no longer room for helplessness and weakness in your life.
You need to solve your problems yourself. If there is a difficult situation, you can turn to your loved ones for help. But minor difficulties need to be solved yourself. If something seems too complicated, you can always break it down into smaller tasks.
If attacks of infantility are observed at turning points, it’s time to work on self-confidence, ideally with a qualified specialist.
You need to find your way. Learn to analyze your actions and choose what you love. If necessary, change your type of activity or place of work to one where the results will be more tangible, and, therefore, there will be an incentive to change and grow up the career ladder.
Deliberately create a situation for yourself in which you will need to make a decision without anyone's help. For example, get a job where you will be given some responsibility.
You can ask your loved ones not to be overprotective and prevent childish behavior.
You can get a pet to take responsibility for someone.
You can act in a radical way, change your usual comfort zone, move to another city or take a new job.
Seek help from a specialist if you cannot cope with your immaturity on your own. The psychologist will point out the qualities that hinder your development and give practical advice on how to overcome them.

It is believed that a person who was not taught to be independent in childhood cannot get rid of immaturity without the help of a qualified specialist.

Now you know what an infantile personality is. You have found out for what reasons infantilism can develop and how it manifests itself. As you can see, both men and women are susceptible to this condition. In the case of the former, they are more condemned by society; just compare the concepts of momma's boy and daddy's daughter. A man with such manifestations is unable to start a family and is economically unreliable. Women's independence is normally perceived; a man happily takes on the role of a caring person, confirming his status as a leader.

conclusions

Infantilism is one of the problems associated with constant divorces in society. At the beginning, a person is pleased with this behavior, and he does not pay attention to it, but with age, people turn away from him and gradually comes understanding and repentance that he did something wrong in life, and the past years cannot be returned.

And then suffering begins, self-blaming, repentance, and so on. It’s a pitiful sight to be honest, but what can you do, such is life. And everyone has their own path. Everyone has their own problems.

Thank you for reading the article on the topic of infantility, what it is, in it I described the usual reasons for the development of infantility and what it usually leads to. I am sure that since you are reading this article, it means that you or someone you know has such a problem, which means you can already try to help yourself or others. Write comments.