Why does crying affect us so much?
Most workplaces have long been dominated by men, and open feelings are frowned upon among them. A woman who was tacitly allowed by society to be angry and cry was perceived among them as overly emotional and thereby interfering with the process. This is partly why people prefer to hide their emotions, girls included. There are enough problems as it is, what was not enough was for your boss or other important person to think of you as a hysterical person.
Life coach Ben Edwards partly agrees with this: according to him, crying is akin to a “white flag” - this is how we let the interlocutor know that we are not ready to perceive information. The author of the book Like She Owns The Place, Kara Alville Leiba, agrees with the coach.
When we pay too much attention to emotions in the workplace, we become less focused on actually solving the problem. It is important to create space between the work and personal spheres so as not to take some things too seriously.
– she emphasizes.
By crying, a person attracts attention and makes it clear: “There is something wrong with me now, and I am not ready to talk about it.” In some situations, you will have to extinguish this state - we will tell you exactly how.
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Don't think about the irritant
The first thing you can try is to try not to think about the things that make you cry. The more you think about them, the more you want to cry. Think about your work or school, for example. Keep yourself busy with a problem that requires your maximum concentration. For example, try multiplying two- or three-digit numbers in your head, or simply keep a count of all the objects around you. However, you should not think about things that make you feel moved. They can lead to tears, which in your case will only make the situation worse.
Look at the ceiling
The method is not the most effective, but it will work for weak crying. At the moment when necessary, you can raise your head, thereby stopping the flow of tears, and then go into a room where no one will stop you from finally coming to your senses.
Spiritual mood
How to be calm and remain a friendly person if there is only negativity and troubles around? Most people with a “home-work” life principle think this way and see the reason for their changed behavior in the pressure of the environment. In essence, this is the same syndrome of irresponsibility, but of a more generalized nature.
“I don’t have time to take care of my appearance, I have small children,” says the woman, justifying her tears about her friend’s luxurious appearance. If you accept the fact that your friend also has children, but at the same time she can afford to attract attention, then another reason for tears will turn into a powerful incentive to fight your own laziness. However, only a few are able to admit this, because working on oneself presupposes leaving a comfortable state, but tears fit well into the usual pattern of everyday life.
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The right mental attitude, along with the development of responsibility, can change a person’s self-image and make him believe in his strengths and capabilities. Psychologists advise that when a person feels tears coming, provoked by feelings of hopelessness, envy or fatigue, repeat to himself af. This short phrase has an amazing effect on the individual’s determination to act and suppresses any need to feel sorry for himself.
Pinch yourself
Try biting your tongue lightly or pinching the area between your thumb and forefinger - this will shift your attention from your tears to the source of the pain.
What is important is how our physiology works in this case. Changing the topic, what we think about the problem, even body movements will help change the emotional state. Attempts to reach the brain will distract us from the original topic, allow us to relieve tension and start a conversation in a new, but productive way.
says Edwards.
How to learn to control tears and emotions?
In order to learn to hold back your tears and control your emotions, you should increase your self-esteem.
Exercising in front of a mirror will help improve self-esteem
You can increase your self-confidence and your abilities with daily training. To do this, standing in front of the mirror, you should tell yourself that nothing and no one threatens you, that you will go through all the hardships, that you are strong, smart, and confident.
Among other things, you should take care in advance about what thoughts will distract you from the situation itself in a stressful situation, when you are overwhelmed with emotions or are about to cry.
Tears help relieve tension
Whatever situations arise in everyday life, you should remember that tears are not always a sign of weakness. Sometimes tears are simply necessary to relieve tension during emotional release - this is just the body's reaction to stress.
Take a break
The methods listed below are suitable for stopping panic attacks, but they will also come in handy here. Try to distract your brain, but not with pain, but with thoughts. Scroll in your head which streets you usually take to get to work, say a phrase to yourself that reminds you of something good. You can maintain a small talk with your loved one over the phone to shift your attention to reality.
How to hold back tears when you want to cry from resentment during a conversation?
Sometimes it is very difficult to hold back tears, and there are even situations when it seems that it is simply impossible to do so. In this case, psychologists have several ways that you can use to take control of the situation.
Psychologists recommend:
- Switch attention
To do this, you can use some questions that will definitely make you take your mind off crying. These are questions like “is my stove turned off?”, or “is my apartment locked?”
You can remember the multiplication table, the lyrics of your favorite song, or the password for something important to you.
You can also switch your attention in another way, by turning your gaze to some object. It is advisable that the object of your attention has many small details that should be closely examined, counted, etc.
The girl looks into the distance
- Use your imagination
To do this, you can imagine the person who offended you in a bizarre image. The most important thing here is not to laugh, otherwise you can harm yourself even more in an already tense situation.
- Pinch yourself or bite your lip
Physical sensations that you will definitely focus on, for example, while pinching your wrist, can also help your emotions recede.
- Focus on breathing or hold it altogether
To do this, you need to slowly and deeply inhale through your nose and exhale for a long time through your mouth, concentrating on the process itself. Also, during an emergency, the human body itself is capable of getting rid of unimportant matters, so you can simply hold your breath.
Deep breathing helps relieve tension during times of stress and avoid tears
- Drink water
If possible, you should drink water, concentrating on the process itself. You need to drink slowly, in small sips.
- Make sudden movements
Sudden movements always help relieve tension, so you can try to stand up quickly, sit down quickly, open a window, push in a chair, etc. If it is not possible to make sudden movements, then you can simply try to suddenly change your position, straighten your shoulders, raise your head, while concentrating on your breathing.
- Avoid direct views of third parties
Any, even a small glance of sympathy in your direction can cause a rapid flow of tears, so you should avoid such glances in every possible way. There is no need to look at anyone, it is better to look out the window, at a picture, etc.
- Use a pen or phone
If the situation and conditions allow, then in a critical situation you can start writing something pleasant on a piece of paper. This will give you the opportunity to take your mind off a stressful situation.
You can also use, for example, a mobile phone or tablet. If tears start to come, you can simply distract yourself and look on the Internet.
- Leave the premises when passions are heating up
If the situation has escalated to the limit, then, avoiding tears, you should leave the room where the unpleasant situation overtook you as quickly as possible. This decision will help you avoid tears, let go of the situation, and calm down.
After the tension has subsided, you can try to continue the conversation.
After the situation that could have caused you tears is left behind, you should do the following:
- Blot your face, neck, and arms up to the elbows with cool water. You can use an ice cube by placing it on your wrist
Wash your face - avoid tears
- Look in the mirror and smile, even when you don’t feel like it. Tell yourself everything is fine
- Think about something pleasant, if you wish, you can read a prayer
- Drink sweet tea
- Talk out, tell someone close about your worrying issue who can support you
