How should parents respond to children's tantrums after sleep?

A child's tantrum is not an easy test for any mother. And when a child suddenly wakes up screaming after several hours of sleep and there is nothing possible to calm him down, then confusion and despair are unsettling. After all, it is very difficult to plan your actions in advance. Moreover, children can start screaming both after a nap and when waking up in the middle of the night. We will look at how to react correctly so as not to harm the child and where to look for the cause of children’s tantrums in the next article.

Childhood parasomnia

It happens that a child wakes up (or does not wake up) in the middle of the night, screams, cries and breaks away from the hands of concerned parents. This state can last from a couple of minutes to half an hour. The fact is that before the sleep phases are fully formed, they can overlap one another or come at the “wrong time”. As a result, the child may wake up in the middle of the night, sob and scream bitterly, or continue to sleep, but at the same time walk or simply move, talk or cry. The manifestation of activity during deep sleep is called parasomnia (para - disturbance, somnius - sleep). This is not at all a dangerous disruption of the body, but evidence of the immaturity of the nervous system and brain. With age, the overlap of sleep phases occurs less and less often and completely disappears by adolescence. It is important to understand that parasomnia in most cases does not cause any harm to the baby; rather, it adds anxiety to parents. Adults are especially wary of children's nighttime tantrums. What to do if your baby has a panic attack that cannot be predicted and stopped? To begin with, figure out what’s going on.

Sleep disturbance

Children's nighttime tantrums have nothing to do with dreams (at least, this is what a number of researchers think). They appear as a result of the superposition of one phase of sleep on another, which leads to severe fear, to a real panic attack. Parents are no less frightened, because at this moment the child screams, talks or cries loudly, his eyes are wide open, but look as if through the world around him. The baby's heart rate increases, sweat breaks out on the forehead, and breathing becomes hoarse and heavy. The child does not respond to the parents’ kind words and desperately resists the desire to take him in his arms. And although, due to open eyes, many parents believe that the baby has woken up, in fact, he continues to be in the deep sleep phase. Why, in this case, do scientists separate nighttime hysterics from nightmares? There are several reasons:

• Any dreams, including nightmares, occur to a person during the “rapid” phase of sleep, when one can see the eyes moving under closed eyelids. The body is in a state of deep rest, but the brain continues to work actively, acting in exactly the same way as in waking mode. Sleep at this time is very sensitive, and the child will wake up from a nightmare, but will quickly forget the bad things, and the affectionate hugs and voice of his parents will calm him down. Awakening can occur at any moment of the night.
• Night tantrums usually begin at the beginning of the sleep cycle (in the so-called deep phase), when the child cannot see any dreams. But the baby experiences a strong feeling of fear: the brain tries to wake up, but the body continues to sleep. As a result, the child screams and cries, and no amount of gentle persuasion and hugs will help.
• After waking up, the child will not remember his nightly hysteria, but he may remember a bad dream.

Night tantrums can begin at 1 year of age and last up to 5–7 years, but then they gradually fade away. The child may still have the habit of talking in his sleep, but this also does not cause any harm. Therefore, even if your baby has a nighttime tantrum, don’t be nervous. Yes, this is extremely stressful for parents, because they cannot do anything to help their baby. However, you need to understand that attempts to “pull” a child out of such a dream can be much more harmful than this unpleasant, but still not pathological condition. Less commonly, parasomnia can occur in infants.

Hysteria after sleep in an older child

The needs of infants most often come down to the need to sleep and eat, but children 2-4 years old are already more conscious of their desires and needs. It is at this age that tantrums after sleep, oddly enough, are considered a more regular occurrence. This is due to the more active functioning of the brain, which can send signals to the baby in the form of both pleasant dreams and nightmares.

If a child’s hysteria occurs constantly after sleep, then its causes are most likely the following.

What to do when a child has a night tantrum

If a child begins to scream at night, experiencing panic attacks, it is necessary to first consult a specialist to rule out neurological causes of the condition. If the doctor does not reveal any pathologies, during attacks of night hysteria you will need to act as follows:

• do not try to wake the child, this will only increase his anxiety;
• do not take the child out of bed and do not pick him up;
• sit next to you, talk quietly to your baby or hum a lullaby;
• Make sure that the child does not damage his arms or legs if he moves restlessly in his sleep.

After your child wakes up, you should not ask him leading questions. If you want to talk about his condition, it is better to ask what the child dreamed about and how he feels.

Features of four-year-old children

The inner world of a 4-year-old person is already quite formed. He knows the world around him well and begins to understand the processes occurring in the environment. At the age of four, a child first realizes that life is finite. Information about death is a significant shock to the psyche. The child does not want to come to terms with the idea that he will one day be gone. Because of thoughts of death, he cries quietly into his pillow at night.

It is impossible to protect a child from information about death. One way or another he will have to experience this knowledge. You can tell your son or daughter that life is not limited to the material world. It doesn't matter whether you yourself believe in life after death. Such information will help relieve anxiety, and as the child grows up, he will figure out what’s what.

Prevention of night tantrums

The best prevention of parasomnia is:

• control over the daily routine. You should not “over-walk” or lack sleep; you should avoid stressful situations or overexcitement;
• control over sleep patterns. If your child has frequent tantrums, keep track of when the panic begins and ends. The next night, carefully wake up your baby 20–30 minutes before the expected onset of the tantrum: this will help “reset” sleep and slow down the rhythm of parasomnia. It is recommended to carry out such prevention for one and a half to two weeks, and then monitor the child’s further condition;
• ensuring a calm environment. If the baby has an easily excitable nervous system, it is recommended to put him to bed early, avoid large and noisy companies, and long trips.

It is important!

The bed of a child suffering from attacks of night hysterics must be completely safe: the baby should not be injured, because in his sleep he can swing his arms and legs sharply. If it is a crib with bars, you can protect the child with soft pads on the sides.

Causes of night tantrums

First of all, experts identify a genetic cause. Parasomnias most often affect those children who have a tendency towards it. If grandparents were sleepwalkers, and restless sleep is also observed in other family members, there is a very high chance that the child will begin to experience attacks of night hysterics before the age of one year. Of course, there are other reasons:

• High emotionality. Impressionable kids are more at risk of tantrums.
• Overexcitability during the day. If a child has had many new experiences (both positive and negative), then his nervous system is in an excited state, which has a bad effect on the quality of sleep.
• Stress. Tantrums can occur in children who find themselves in a new environment for the first time, for example, after visiting kindergarten for the first time. The same reaction can occur to long-distance moves, separation of parents, or another stressful factor.
• Diseases of the nervous system. They should be excluded first by visiting a specialist.

What should parents do?

According to statistics, every child experiences tantrums from time to time. And parents should not have any special reasons for concern, unless such cases become regular. When a child wakes up screaming, the most important thing for parents in such a situation is to remain calm and try to calm their baby. If your child is still very young, try offering him one of the following options:

• give me something to drink,
• take in your arms,
• bring his favorite treat or toy.

But here’s what you definitely shouldn’t do:

• yell at a child
• slap him on the cheeks
• leave alone.

If a child refuses everything and literally does not hear you, then you should take a closer look at him. You need to carefully observe his behavior and appearance. For example, if he tightens his legs, then perhaps his stomach hurts, and if he has a fever and swollen red gums, then he is probably teething. When hysterics are observed in a child over three years old, it makes sense to ask in more detail about the reasons for such behavior.

At any age, there are symptoms that accompany hysteria, for which you should immediately consult a doctor.

• Severe hysteria that does not stop for half an hour or more.
• When a child screams loudly, convulsions and fever begin.
• The fears do not stop during the daytime.
• Hysterics have become regular and you are unable to independently determine the cause and cope with it.

How to cope with a child's fears?

Everyone had some kind of fear in childhood. They are associated with various reasons. For example, a baby is terrified of the dark or cannot be left alone in a confined space. There are cases when a child is “intimidated” by one of his peers or older children. And he begins to be afraid of losing his mother or thinks that monsters live in closets and dark corners. To find out the specific danger that the baby is afraid of, you need to calmly talk to him and dispel all his fears. If you cannot do this on your own, then you should seek help from a specialist and undergo anti-stress therapy. It includes activities aimed at psychological support and emotional relief for the child.

• You should not deny or laugh at your child’s fears, even if they seem childish and stupid to you. It’s better to ask what exactly the child is afraid of, rather than brushing him off with the phrase: “You’re too old to be afraid of the dark!”
• During the day, conduct activities aimed at relieving stress and anxiety in your child. Finger painting, modeling and various games with water can distract a little person from any worries and relieve emotional stress.
• Support your child with your story about your own overcoming of fears in childhood. This way he will understand that everything is surmountable, and he is not left alone with his phobias.

Normalizing a child's sleep

In fact, tantrums in children are not such a rare occurrence. They are more associated with adolescence, as a rule, these are intervals from 1 year to 2 years, then at 3 years and at 6-7 years. But if such restless behavior is observed only during awakening, then parents should take care of activities that will favorably influence the sound and healthy sleep of their child.

Hysteria before bed

Children's hysteria before bedtime has completely different reasons. It is not a parasomnia condition and can be caused by:

• the desire to attract the attention of parents;
• fear of darkness and loneliness;
• uncomfortable sleeping conditions (the room is too hot/stuffy, cold, humid);
• stress during the day;
• unusual surroundings.