In modern reality, people often have to experience stress. Sometimes it happens that some unforeseen event ruins all plans and forces you to plunge into anxious thoughts about your future. At the same time, the immediate prospects do not seem rosy, but, on the contrary, fade into a large number of bright negative emotions. Constant worries about certain events create emotional stress. It, in turn, affects both physical well-being and mental state. At the same time, the desire to act, make plans, or do anything at all may disappear.
Why relieve your interlocutor’s emotional stress?
People are not machines.
Any information that we exchange is perceived against an emotional background, which usually does not interfere with communication.
We can negotiate, give orders, receive tasks, negotiate.
But if emotions run high, we lose the ability to communicate constructively.
Emotions “block” the channel of information exchange, so until the “normal” emotional background is restored, communication will be difficult.
You will not be able to agree on anything until the interlocutor is in a state of readiness to perceive your speech.
To achieve this, you need to be able to cope with emotions and create conditions for communication even in a conflict situation.
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Causes of emotional stress
Emotional stress never just appears out of nowhere. In order for it to develop, prolonged exposure to one or more factors is required. In most cases, people cannot explain to themselves why their mood suddenly deteriorates or the desire to engage in self-improvement disappears. Let's take a closer look at the causes of emotional stress.
Unjustified expectations
Every person has certain hopes about his own life. Some place great emphasis on self-realization, others dissolve in the family. If for some reason existing expectations are not met, then the individual experiences internal deprivation. Suddenly, familiar landmarks are lost, everything seems meaningless and incomprehensible. Even those things that previously formed the basis of a happy existence are not pleasing. A state of emotional tension sets in, which has a very detrimental effect on health. An individual does not always have the opportunity to satisfy any of his desires. Most often, this is hampered by certain circumstances, which create significant obstacles on the path to a happy worldview.
Constant stress
When a problem is not solved for a long time, the person puts himself into a state of stress. Typically, this feeling gets worse if nothing is done. A person begins to feel unnecessary and insignificant, his self-esteem rapidly declines, and an inferiority complex develops. It begins to seem that the complexity has no solution at all. In reality this is, of course, not the case. Constant stress is exhausting, makes you doubt yourself and close yourself off from the world in your own experiences. Emotional tension increases if the individual does not find a solution favorable to himself. After all, each of us needs to feel a certain confidence in the future. When for some reason this does not happen, the internal state begins to worsen. Types of stress relief.
Fears and phobias
Everyone has them to one degree or another. Various anxiety states are a common cause of emotional stress. The problem is that not everyone can openly talk about their experiences to others. In modern society, the model of a successful person has become established as the norm. According to many people, such a person should easily cope with any difficulties, have no shortcomings, strive as much as possible for self-improvement and work on himself. Modern people place increased demands on themselves. It seems to them that they have to be on time everywhere, while it is desirable to be better than others - acquaintances, friends and relatives. In fact, it turns out that an individual cannot always be at the limit of his capabilities. Gradually, strength fades away. A person begins a period of moral and physical exhaustion, which is accompanied by emotional stress. Most often, people simply do not realize this and do not understand what is really happening to them.
Inability to express feelings
The inability to openly express one's own feelings is another reason why emotional tension develops. Not every person can easily tell others about their emotions. Some people are so embarrassed to express their feelings that they prefer to remain silent, so as not to reveal their individual weakness to others. It is not easy for them to admit their own phobias and defeats. The inability to express feelings is dictated by the fear of condemnation from society. This is a serious problem that inevitably leads to emotional stress. This condition is characterized by increased anxiety, feelings of abandonment and loneliness. Anyone who, for one reason or another, becomes a hostage to his own fear, subsequently cannot act openly without experiencing a feeling of guilt. This condition can last for years without bringing moral relief. So the person gradually becomes confused in himself and stops trusting others.
Non-verbal techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. Give the other person a chance to talk.
Don’t try to shout down, interrupt, or “chat.”
Conducting a conversation in a raised voice, especially while shouting, requires a lot of nervous tension.
Once the person has said everything he was going to say, you will have time to say everything you want and he will be ready to hear you.
Until he says everything he planned to say, or gets tired of pouring out his emotions, any attempt to interrupt will cause even greater aggression.
Technique 2: Listen carefully
Try to establish and maintain eye contact with your partner, nod, lean or lean forward, implicitly “join” - take the same position as your interlocutor.
Technique 3. Close the distance
At a social distance (0.5-1.2 m), it is difficult to have a conversation in a raised voice.
Martial arts masters sharply reduce the distance, preventing the enemy from striking with a foot, hand, knee or elbow; close people hug each other to reassure; when communicating with colleagues and clients, it is better to look for ways to resolve conflicts at a distance; do not show aggression and raise your voice inappropriately. and uncomfortable.
Smile, touch, lean in.
Electronic means of communication depersonalize communication - it’s easy to write something rude in an email, messenger or correspondence on a social network, say something unpleasant on the phone and hang up.
It is more difficult to decide on the same during personal communication.
If a conflict arose during correspondence or telephone communication, arrange a personal meeting.
Technique 4. Create spatial comfort for communication
If your opponent is standing, stand up; if he is sitting, sit down.
If there is an obstacle separating it - a table, a chair, a counter - remove it or go around it.
Suggest sitting at an acute or 90-degree angle.
If possible, sit next to him.
Speech techniques for reducing emotional stress
Technique 1. If you are a stranger, say your name and find out the name of the person you are talking to.
Try to say the name of your interlocutor as often as possible during the conversation.
Calling by name does not allow communication to become depersonalized.
It is much easier to insult a stranger than someone you know, even if only for a few seconds.
Technique 2: Adjust the pace of the conversation
Slightly tighten the rhythm and tempo of your speech; if the interlocutor speaks too quickly and emotionally, pause in speech.
Calm, measured speech is difficult to “load” with emotions.
Technique 3. Make it clear that you understand the importance of the problem and are ready to resolve it.
Tell your interlocutor about this.
Technique 4. Emphasize the importance of the interlocutor.
Be prepared to say that you value him and his opinion and relationship are very important to you.
Technique 5. Tell about your well-being, the state that the interlocutor’s words caused, if his status is higher, his position is stronger than yours
“I’m sorry, I’m offended, I’m unpleasant...”
Technique 6. Tell about the state and well-being of the interlocutor, if his status is lower, his position is weaker than yours
“I understand how unpleasant and offensive it is for you... I understand that you are disappointed...”
Technique 7. Address the facts - without emotion, talk through all the details of the situation that caused the conflict
"Let's figure out what happened..."
Technique 8. Offer a specific way out of the current situation
If this is not possible, promise to find him as soon as possible.
Ask your interlocutor what way out of the situation he considers the best.
It is not necessary that you accept it - the main thing is that your communication partner will be forced to control his emotions, otherwise it will be difficult for him to collect his thoughts.
Technique 9. Find and highlight something in common
It could be a similarity of interests, opinions, goals, or even just a desire to quickly cope with the situation in which you find yourself - unity is very important.
If “we” means “ours”, and ours cannot but agree.
Technique 10. Acknowledge that the other person is right about what he is right about.
If you know that the current situation is your fault, immediately admit it.
This will not change the situation, but the opponent will have fewer reasons for overly emotional communication.
He no longer needs to prove that he is not guilty and convince you to admit that you are wrong; he will be ready to discuss the problem on its merits.
Face-saving techniques
What to do when you are insulted? How to respond with dignity, maintaining inner peace and not losing face?
Technique 1. “External consent”
When someone says something unpleasant and offensive to you, it is assumed that you will lose control of yourself and reciprocate.
Or you will begin to prove to him that he is wrong and his words are unfair.
The phrase “maybe you are right” does not mean that you agree, everyone understands this, but it deprives the interlocutor of the right to continue the verbal attack.
In any case, it is obvious that repeating it is useless.
Technique 2. “Repetition”
Saying out loud what your interlocutor told you in the heat of the moment is very useful.
It is unlikely that anyone who is already prepared to hear “You are a fool!” ready to hear your words and ready to respond to them.
Even if he has a large vocabulary, constantly hearing the echo of his words without getting the desired result in the form of an emotional reaction is unlikely to please his opponent.
Technique 3. “Clarification”
"Do you really think so? Why?
Technique 4. “Part of my personality”
Someone doesn't like something about you.
Recognize that this is acceptable. But this is your personal quality that belongs to you, so someone else’s judgment about it should not cause you concern.
“Yes, I work slowly. But I try to do everything without mistakes, so I double-check my work.”
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How to relieve emotional stress: ways
The state of emotional stress has a detrimental effect on physical and mental health. Without a doubt, you need to be able to work effectively with him in order to overcome the feeling of hopelessness in time. Relieving emotional stress will help you free yourself from the internal burden that weighs on your personality. How to do this correctly, without harming yourself? Let's try to understand such a difficult issue.
Positive thinking
It will always be useful in life. You must gradually learn to direct your thoughts in a positive direction. Negative events, of course, unsettle you, but they always teach you something and allow you to draw timely conclusions. Positive thinking is a great thing that teaches you not to dwell on small failures. No matter what happens, it is important to remember that all difficulties are temporary. It never happens that problems stay with us forever. In most cases, they are resolved one way or another. The ability to see something good and beautiful in people and events will always come in handy. Relieving emotional stress is always a long process that requires a lot of concentration. People who have learned to think about their own well-being ultimately find peace and tranquility.
Expressing feelings
Under no circumstances should you keep all your experiences inside yourself. This position will not lead to anything good. To free yourself from emotional stress, you need to learn to talk openly about your feelings without being ashamed of their presence. Doing this is not as easy as many people think: you will have to spend extra time, develop a new habit, try an unusual behavior model in action. But the effort is definitely worth it. Learning to express your feelings naturally is just as important as being able to find your own purpose. Emotional tension will gradually go away, because a person will stop fighting with himself and driving himself into strict limits.
Revaluation of ideals
The desire to please society in everything and always can lead to nervous exhaustion. Revision of your own individual position will help relieve emotional stress. You need to understand why you need to always be on top in front of others. Often this behavior is typical of people with low self-esteem. Re-evaluating ideals will help you understand what the mistake is and what exactly needs to be changed in life. Often people do not even realize that they are suffering greatly. They try to please others, thereby missing out on their own opportunities. You need to have the courage to look at the situation from the inside and draw appropriate conclusions.
Having a goal
Clearly building a perspective for the future helps relieve emotional stress. This is how anxiety and fear of life go away, which do not go away on their own if no attempt is made to do so. Having a goal in itself greatly disciplines and directs a person to continue moving forward, despite any obstacles. When we clearly understand what we should move towards, we will no longer stop at any obstacles. The main thing is that a person knows which road he should take. Otherwise, any attempts to find inner harmony will end in failure. It is worth remembering that we are truly motivated only by the presence of a high goal. Self-realization should be joyful, inspiring, and not bring any suffering.
External support
It is extremely important for every person to be approved by others. Of course, this is not always possible, especially when our personal beliefs run counter to the ideas of society. Relieving moral stress, of course, helps to realize that loved ones really sincerely worry about us. Then we begin to truly appreciate the time spent together, to realize how dear they are to us. If people always strived to understand each other, they could make their lives a little happier. That is why it is so important to strive to build full-fledged, trusting and warm relationships with loved ones. After all, if we have no one to share our feelings with, all existing achievements will lose all meaning. This is true.
Thus, the problem of nervous exhaustion often occurs where a person has to hide his true feelings behind various social masks. The individual disappears into the crowd, trying to please society, going against his own beliefs. To cope with such internal tension, you will need to examine your own feelings and free yourself from all negativity. Only then can one hope to find happiness. If you cannot cope with the problem on your own, you can seek advice from the Irakli Pozharisky Psychology Center . Working with a psychologist will help you overcome internal discomfort and confusion.
